Kurama's Journal written by my fabulously talented brother Prophetic darkness
On the inside cover and first few pages were a few little doodles, mostly sprite looking and caricatures that were really quite cute, but unrealistic used as pictograms. They weren't warning away from reading, he know that would be pointless, so instead it listed reasons against being with Yusuke with little illustrations in a pen that none of the entries were written in. Probably doodled there after the entries as those started before he'd met Yusuke.
"Yusuke is taken." This was recently crossed out with a little doodle of Keiko with another guy, a sad Yusuke, Kurama cheering hyper actively, then being sad because Yusuke was sad, then cheering hyper actively more while Hiei rolled all three eyes. To the far left of it was the previous doodle of Yusuke and Keiko being a happy couple and Kurama off in an emo-corner.
"Age difference." This was illustrated by Kurama in a rocking chair with a ridiculous beard, spouting 'when I was your age' in tiny shifty writing while a very young Yusuke played video games with a 'whatevs' look.
"He won't stay in love." This was marked by about 20 prominent faces of others who had proved that rule... that once he admitted he loved them, they left, and if he slept with them, they left when they woke up.
"Work relationship." Under that was a doodle of Kurama and Yusuke snuggled together... obviously the most well loved doodle and given tons of attention to the point where it was a central focus of loving drawing. To the right was Yusuke leaving, then next was their fighting demons together while Yusuke was obviously thinking 'well this is awkward.'
"Too fragile" This had been crossed out, then re-drawn several times, as if he wasn't sure this was a problem or not. Eventually, there was a small addendum. "Too fragile to trust myself with." This had a little drawing of Kurama trying to be a little more dominant with Yusuke than the previous pictures, but Yusuke was stock-still because it reminded him of an encounter of his past and he wasn't comfortable with it anymore.
"Wrong orientation?" One of the very few marked as a question. Yusuke wasn't nearly as obvious about it as he was. This had an amusing little drawing of Yusuke getting a sweat drop on his forehead while Kurama came to him with a great big hopeful expression in a clingy school girl dress rather than his usual uniform that was in all the other doodles. There seemed to be a more recent doodle after the picture he'd seen Yusuke draw, where it marked 'more than likely' and put Kurama in a dress back in to an emo corner.
"Wrong sort of attention?" That was marked by repeated drawings of Kurama with fox ears randomly glomping a mousy eared Yusuke who was more interested in watching a movie, playing a game, hanging out with other friends, and generally doing simple platonic things.
"Reputations" That had a little picture of Yusuke being a typical bad boy in his school, scaring away punks, then the sudden addition of a happy, cuddly Kurama got him laughed at. The next drawing was of Kurama obviously in the process of jumping Yusuke in his room with Shiori in the background bawling her eyes out because she must not have raised her son properly. The picture of Kurama jumping him was more in comic sequence, slowly peeking over the bed at the reading Yusuke then leaping in to the air, landing on him and being all snuggly with a falling, surprised Yusuke... everything there seemed to have been fun for Kurama to draw as well, because those pictures were also a little more realistic than the doodles and previous chibi-type illustrations except for the Shiori in the background.
"Time" There was a picture of Kurama watching a clock, then Yusuke on a mission, then Kurama watching a clock further along and biting his lip, Yusuke again on a non-violent mission where he wouldn't need backup, Again watching the clock while it was dark outside with a blanket and irritation, Yusuke doing more running around... finally coming through the door again! Kurama was leaping out of the chair to hug him when Yusuke looked at his watch, then walked back off to school leaving Kurama on the floor with a little frustrated mood bubble above him.
"Just not interested?" This had fewer doodles than the others, simply Yusuke shrugging indifferently, and a 'Mrr...." sort of disappointed look from Kurama. No way around that one.
"Demon" A little picture of Youko was leaning on the 'n' of demon, winking at Yusuke who was charging up his spirit gun, on puppet strings from Koenma. Another of Kurama and Yusuke being cuddly, something he just really enjoyed drawing, then in the next panel Yusuke caught sight of a fluffy tail and got a creeped out expression. There was a little wavy line at the end, marking that he might not mind, but obviously not daring to encourage himself with a little drawing of Yusuke not minding.
"Parole." Kurama was stuck behind bars on this one, kicking a can around the cell and being unable to be with Yusuke at random moments whenever Koenma felt like it.
"Honesty/dishonesty" There was a little picture for both, one where Kurama was obviously spilling all his secrets where Yusuke realized how truly awful a person he was and left. Another was where Yusuke was cuddling a porcelain mask while Youko watched from his emo corner.
"Jealousy" Random kitsunes from all over the page were attacking Kurama in this one, having found out that he could love and be loved, what all of them wanted and none of them could get. Also just about every one of them trying to get Yusuke for themselves. More a hassle than a reason, but any con for the idea was written here to discourage himself.
"Power source" This was marked by Yusuke walking in through a door with a scandalized expression, not actually showing the process of gaining power, but implying it well enough.
"Pressure" This showed Kurama's unfortunate having to sleep around until Yusuke was comfortable helping out, which drove Yusuke away because Kurama wanted to move too fast or he couldn't stand to be cheated on. There was a little side, questioning drawing of just... not having powers until Yusuke was comfortable giving them back. It had a little 'possible' caption and though he seemed hesitant to run that way given how often they battled, he would. They could find another fighter easy, and he could be on the team again if the relationship went anywhere, and as always stay a small time healer with the energy he had naturally, information source, and strategist.
"Still interested?" This was obviously a recent one. It showed Yusuke's occasional watching Keiko with her boyfriend, Kurama watching Yusuke watching Keiko with her boyfriend, boyfriend watching Kurama with a weirded out look.
There were a few blank pages, obviously meant to continue reasons against as he found them before the entries started on his birthday, last year.
June 22nd
My mother gave me this journal for my birthday, and I have a feeling she's going to read it as soon as she can. Maybe a week? Yes, I think I'll let you read it then mother. Is that alright? Now, since you seem so keen on figuring out what's wrong with me, I suppose I'll go ahead and tell you. There is a girl at school. I can hear your squealing from the past, shh! You might wake me. Her name is Maya, and she is very kind. I am not secretly dating her, nor do I plan to. She simply seems to be a magnet for trouble, and I'm usually in a situation where I can bail her out. Also, I met a boy called Hiei. He was one of the dangers to Maya, but he turned friend to me. He's been visiting me every night or so because he insists that I don't look very healthy. He's quite caring, and actually helping quite a bit, but I've made it clear that he should stay away from you since he tends to be quite rude without meaning to be. I hope you don't come in while he's there.
June 24th
By the way, since you're reading this anyway, we're running out of milk, flour, peanut butter and paper towells. Just thought I should let you know.
June 26th
Ah, silly me, I told you everything you want to know in the first entry. Lets see... I suppose I could tell you about school? Alright. Apparently I have a small following of girls who like me, and seek out the most embarrassing way to ensure that I'm aware of this. All of the boys in school are quite convinced that I am homosexual because I avoid them. You probably are as well. Hiei has been showing up nightly, and yes, I did divert away from that. I know you would have picked up on it on the second reading. Yes, you would have, don't judge yourself like that. Yes, I do pay attention to you well enough to know that's precisely what you're doing. So, he is the reason we're running out of milk. It turns out he's incredibly fond of all things dairy, and often very hungry. I'll probably end up buying it from my own money as he is my friend after all.
June 28th
Got a 120% on my biology exam. Maya managed to stay out of danger the entire day. Personally, I'm thrilled. I've pulled her out of ruffian gangs eight different times now.
June 30th
I know you're looking for the journal now. I was right about the week, wasn't I? Sorry, I made you wait a few more days. I thought you would find it if it were just under my bed. So this time it's on top. Anything else you want to know, you can ask me...
There were a few pages stuffed in here, apparently entries from a previous journal dating back quite a while. Most wre observations, learning how to fit in with everyone, but also about meeting Hiei and more about Maya. Apparently he had actually met Maya 3 years before Yusuke, while he'd only met Hiei 2 years before. There were a few flow charts and graphs of demon activity, his classmate's scores (so that he could be good enough to please Shiori, but not so good he was pulled in to a lab. He walked the line constantly.) a few funny things he'd heard to dissect humor and understand it, and curiously... a entire page devoted to relationships. This person likes this person but that person hates that person and such, then the ones he brought together marked with green. Apparently he used high-school love triangles to decrease the amount of fangirls and manipulate people. There was a similar page for the unmarried teachers, and an X by one of them. A few times he mentioned getting the feeling he was being watched, but his senses were too dulled out to find them. There was a list of all the human rules, written and unwritten (probably so he could find ways to bend them) a few human plants he'd discovered, some odd code of reds and blues that was apparently genetic code for his power. All throughout the writings, it was never clear precisely why he was compiling this information in particular since most people just had a memory for it, and he wrote it in an odd way. Less like his perfectly neutral class assignments that were oh-so perfect with a consistent font, more like a regular high-school student with each page. As Yusuke is quite intelligent, he could probably see that the journal was an attempt to appear more human, look back, reflect, and improve his mask. The exception was one page of writing completely unlike Shichi's at all, that apparently had been written by Youko. The script was absolutely tiny and at first the page just looked like it was covered in tiny dots, but those tiny dots (when revealed with a microscope as it was literally written in DNA strands) were actually incredibly neat cursive lines that wrapped around in circles of unbroken strips of genetic coding rather than going left to right, or up and down to avoid electronic decoding. With Kurama unconscious the language could be run through there to be decoded, so Hiei could read it (with the jigan he wouldn't have to use the microscope). That one page held about as much information as the encyclopedia Britannica, only all of it was actually correct. Everything including precisely what days would have a solar eclipse on each world, wind patterns, right down to 'Orange haired Leos of over 150lbs in lower Japan will have a difficulty with allergies' marked about a week after the team would be leaving the cabin and (August 4th, *tons of stuff written for that day* Hiei Jaganshi *blah blah* Kazuma Kuwabara *blah blah* will wake up early thanks to a slight lunar shift that affects their serotonin release. It then listed what would most likely happen because of this, right up to Kuwabara's waking someone else up from misplaced worry and making pancakes that particular day.) It even had a little dot about the next spirit detective, that predicted how Yusuke would be with frighting accuracy considering it must have been written a century or so ago, somewhat more recent additions were added to it to specify a little more recently as Kurama got to know him, but it was obvious the only recent ones were details of Yusuke's secret childhood. It even had a map of japan in his little dot, with an X where he was born, where he'd go to school, etcetera. He was the only person to have his own dot, as apparently he'd been a point of fascination. Some parts of the dot seemed replaced though, as he wasn't quite as predictable as everything else. The more it was studied the more information it gave, and it seemed like it just went on forever. He had never shown Hiei this before, but rather than explaining how he knew so much it just pulled up even more questions about it.
July 1st
Well, Shiori has read it and seemed satisfied, so I'm hiding it elsewhere now in a place covered by amnesia plants to keep her away. Now, on to the real issues. Maya has spirit awareness and keeps getting cornered by gangs of demons. I'm considering wiping her memory and deactivating the awareness as... it's far too strong. It will always get her in trouble. Hiei is in favor of killing her, and I'm not far behind, but two demons killing her is no better than her being killed by the other demons. I heard there was a psychic... Genkai up in the mountains who can turn down her awareness, I think I'll give her a call. Meanwhile, Hiei is helping me with my vigilante work, killing the demons who come in to my area. That's... actually how I caught him in the first place, but despite his abysmal power levels he was quite quick and intelligent, so I nursed him back to health rather than killing him. At the moment (until he recovers from the jigan surgery) he is acting as my minion I suppose, at least until he's up to full power again and doesn't need my backup. Then he'll probably try to kill me. After all, the great Youko is weakened in this human shell. If he kills me, and brings back my head, he would be praised and put in a position of power so he can begin his plans for world domination. That is, after he defeats Eight-hands. I've been watching out for him as well. Hiei was informed that he ate an ice maiden and told me about Yukina, whereas I know that he's been targeting Maya.
Maya discovered me. Confronted me in the hall about being a demon and of all things she doesn't care that I am and even confessed that she loves me. This sounds like that ridiculous twilight novel, only I don't love her at all, I don't want to kill her (that much) and have access to memory wipes. So sorry Maya, no sparkling demons for you. (Yes, I read the book. It would have been far better if it did not contain 4000 pages talking about how pretty Edward is, and was actually honest. It's not about an all consuming love, it's about a self-loathing manic depressive vampire who acts like a frantic sparkly Muppet in love, stalking a teenage girl who's just kinky enough to like it. If they advertised it that way, and I don't know... included intentional humor, I might actually like it.) Hiei saw me reading it, did me a favor and burned the book. I've never been so grateful for his arsonist tenancies. Hiei told me why he attacked me while I was walking with Maya, apparently he thought I was a spy for eight-hands. Needless to say, he was incredibly disappointed when Eight hands never ate an ice maiden, but I did get Maya back. The battle was about three days ago.
July 2nd
I gave Hiei ice cream today, I'm pretty sure he's never going to kill me now so long as I watch my step. Regardless, I've been collecting more power just in case. Since Hiei enjoys stalking me he knows about it, and seemed mildly revolted at where my power comes from. To get him to leave so I could write, I offered to show him it isn't all bad. It's pretty hilarious to watch him bolt. Maya is taken care of, the demons stopped targeting her, and I managed to get her a transfer to a different school. She didn't like Meioh anyway, academics were too high for her to have a social life and the rules were too strict. Honestly, I've wanted to leave for quite a while as well. Not the academics, but any school that enjoys dressing their male students in pink and gold are either blind, or want us all under their thumb at all times. Heaven forbid we ever go against authority! No... take the girliest color, take away our masculinity! After all, girls are easier to control... Those teachers are so sexist it's disgusting and when I first went in they were going to put me in the female version of the uniform. Mother practically doubled over in laughter. That teacher died mysteriously in their bathtub. It was blamed on the Floral Felo-de-se. Nice of them to get it right occasionally. Their only MO for me is my convincing people to kill themselves with plants, despite the fact that the plants always originate in southern Africa, I always kill them in a room that's a shade of green, and I always leave an oak leaf on the outside of their window. It's rather frustrating to try to draw copy-cats when no one has enough brain cells to pick up on your trade marks. Ah, where's the intelligent detective when you need him.
July 6th
Spending some time in prison, I'm currently in disguise as the Floral Felo-de-se, writing with a plant based pen I left at home. I'm so bored in here, that's literally what I'm doing... long distance scripto-botany. I spread the word a little about more of my MOs to inspire copy cats, got to beat up a few thugs who thought I was pretty enough to push around, and upped my street cred. Handy in case I end up going to jail again. Don't want to have to build it up when I need out fast. Hiei's looking for Yukina again, I wish him luck.
July 7th
It was far too easy to escape. I just dropped the disguise, went up to the passing guard with tears in my eyes and a few little signs of abuse for that extra kick of pity, and said I'd come to visit my father over in a different cell, but the killer in this one yanked me through the bars as a place holder (so the new guard wouldn't pickup on it), beat me up so I couldn't stop him, slipped through the bars himself and ran off. I even got a lollipop. Mother doesn't know I was even gone and the Floral Felo-de-se is on the prowl once more. For their ingenious mystery novels, the common populace really isn't that good at picking up on the out of place.
July 9th
Nothing of interest happened, just created a new identity and updated a few ID cards. Math report is due... the human world is woefully misinformed on the subject of how the world actually works. They still don't know I'm stealing from them every time they get a credit card. You'd think someone would realize after all these centuries since I first introduced it they would pick up on the late fee scheme. 10% of this worlds wealth is mine and no one has any idea... plus I take away a lot of the effects of inflation and donate to charities and orphanages across the world when no one else will, so I am actually helping them, but still. This is ridiculous. Seems no one looks at the big picture any more to see who's putting their signature in the corner.
July 20th
Dark tournament is over, I watched it with Hiei using Lord Koenma's surveillance system. We threw a lot of popcorn at the screen. Honestly, it was no fun to watch with the one Togoro brother just going through and creaming everyone. I'd like to see him up against an S class. Let him try to use 10% of his strength against that. Hell, Youko could have taken him out at his strongest. I can't of course, human limitations drag me down... Hiei could with enough power though. Mother seems very pleased I finally have a friend, even if he does really creep her out. She tried to bring us cookies during the showing, Hiei was surprisingly polite. I'm very proud of him. He wasn't sure what to make of the cookie at first though, that's what got her I think. He still hasn't found Yukina, but I've been searching Koenma's database for him, so he's sticking around here.
July 29th
Hiei burned the paper towels while I was talking to my mother. She's off on a vacation I forced on her because she was getting stir-crazy, and now she knows my friend is an arson. Hiei thinks it's hilarious. I put chili peppers in his medical eye drops. Turns out that when he's angry but not murderous, he looks like a furious kitten. He gets murderous if I laugh when he's angry though, need to watch that. He even burned poor Urkle.
August 15th
I got sick. Hiei laughed his butt off at the demon who can cure practically anything getting sick. Then I told him it's contagious and he's been gone for a week now. I'd forgotten how miserable it could make one to be sick. I didn't mention that it's actually a plant disease made by herbicides and I'm only affected because I'm 30% plant. (Mostly my legs that I regrew.They're killing me.) Working on the antidote, but it's quite difficult to isolate. Spreads like wildfire.
August 27th
Gave up, I had Hiei set me on selective fire and burnt all the plant parts out of me, then regrew my legs with non-infected plants. Hiei seemed disturbed, but impressed, then made a pun about girls always picking me what with being made up of flowers. I laughed, he seemed quite content with himself. I think he's getting the hang of human humor. He'd be appalled if he figured that out.
September 13th
It's a Friday. Of course... Figured out a way to combat this herbicide as well as any other, coconut oil is incredible at neutralizing it. I'm carrying some with me all the time now. Wish I had known about it as Youko, herbicides always used to slow me down. Apparently one of my classmates went through my locker and found an abundance of flowers from girls despite my exceptionally girly looks. The only reason I didn't kill him for snooping, was the fact that after admitting this, he said, "That's wrong on more levels than I can count, and they're both really basic levels too." That was just too giggle-worthy to murder.
September 21st
In all his child-like mentality, Hiei is trying to imitate me. I know it will pass quickly, so I'm enjoying it now. I must say, his impersonation of tranquility is the most hyperactive I've seen. He mentioned that I'm different while writing in this book, and I agree. I don't speak the same when no one is speaking back. More honest I suppose. What's the point in lying to a book? None of this information could actually be used against me any more than the video surveillance from Koenma though. Really no harm in it. The only thing I have to worry about is my fellow humans. Kaito is quite sharp in his ways, and far too curious as well, so I don't bring the book to school. To be safe though, I coated the inside cover with a human amnesiac. It won't work on anyone with a decent amount of spirit power, but they are not the ones I need to worry about. After all, they have access to the surveillance as well if they have half the brain they would need to get through my safeguards.
October 9th
Mason, a boy at school pulled my grade point average down to a 4.0. It was a group project where all he had to do was read the script I gave him out loud, and instead he just said, blah blah blah, boring exposition, the end. The rest of the group is quite irritated by him as well. Honestly, he would be the weak link on a plate of sausages. He just doesn't seem to care though, and it was quite funny I suppose... if you weren't the one who had to try to calm down Kaito. That's really what irritates me. He can be quite stubborn about his anger. Eventually quoting Shakespeare managed, and I managed to avoid calling him a complete nerd for being calmed by the words of someone so self-centered and repetitively flouncy. Hiei noticed that in the demonic encounters, I always end up hit in the same spot on my stomach. Now he's randomly attacking me, trying to train my guard up. He really doesn't understand generic tactics and battle habits... I haven't let him hit me yet. He'll forget it in a few weeks anyway.
November 2nd
A new student came by, typical teenage heart throb buffed up on confidence. I was grateful for him taking away the female attention up until he decided to ask if I was taken. I said, yes, he said 'where is he'. I must be acting fruitier than usual if the new kids automatically assume I'm gay as well. I replied with 'divided up in to fourteen parts in my freezer.' He left me alone after that. I heard Hiei fall out of the tree laughing. His thoughts must have been particularly entertaining. Unfortunately the girls are incredibly persistent, and now I'm labeled a bad boy. I'd play up the whole gay thing, but they seem to like that more. If I continue acting mild mannered they will just know I have a deep dark secret. If I get mad suddenly I'm a bad boy again, if I wallow in depression I'm stuck being in tune with my emotions and therefore more attractive, if I disfigure myself they'll go out of their way to try and boost my self esteem, if I reveal that I'm a maniac they'll be drawn in and want to fix me... the more I ignore them the more they puruse, but if I pay attention to them I'm encouraging them, if I just take a girlfriend the attention will turn to intense jealousy, if I have a boyfriend they'll take pictures (I've tried both, they are infuriatingly flexible) even acting really, really gay to the point of flaming they giggle at and know I'm acting, nerdy makes them think I'm more intelligent, I'm afraid to even try acting like a jock... They have me in a head lock. Why are these girls so attracted to the person most likely to get annoyed and slaughter them? Idiots... By the way, Hiei has stopped attacking me, and just says I'm stupid for playing on pity, stupidity and cockiness my opponent might not have. I explained that if they're fighting me knowing my reputation, they have to be either stupid or cocky. He didn't speak with me for three days after that considering that's how he met me and the wounded stomach tactic worked on him then.
November 8th
Hiei asked me how old I am as apparently the legends say nothing about that. I was stymied for a while trying to remember and figure it out. The fact that I'm 200 at the moment seemed to really surprise him until I showed him my formula. He told me he was looking for the 3000 answer.
December 1st (the contents of this page were written in a very human language, unreadable to all without human blood as an anti-Hiei measure as it actually sensed the blood of the holder to figure out whether or not they would be allowed to read it.)
Christmas time is coming up, I'm pondering over what to get who. I am getting Hiei a gift whether he likes it or not... probably something innocuous like a scarf. He likes to be secretive, and his clothing keeps his face on display. Yes, a scarf. Not black though, that would just look silly. White or red would be best. Flipping a coin... white it is. I'll get to work on that then. Shiori prefers obviously handmade gifts... Alright, I'll let her occasionally spot me with wire clippers and beads while making her jewelry then. After all, if I let her see the fake secrets, it helps me hide the real ones. I'd hate to think what would happen if she ever found out... terrified actually. In all past cases of kitsunes being loved by... anyone, as soon as it's discovered that they are a kitsune they were tortured until they left. Gee, thanks human world. 'How dare you trick us in to believing that you are worthwhile to us... worthy of love.' Is it any wonder my entire race is desperate for affection and has the romantic self esteem of a slug? Demons aren't much better though. A one night stand, and that's about it. Any whispers of love are just lies an it gets harder and harder to believe them every time. Hiei thinks I'm weak for being sad about it, he's gotten along just fine without any love whatsoever. Apparently he doesn't see my mothering him as a form of love... or how much happier he has gotten. If he realized that my parental love is being half-returned, I know he'd drop me like a rock as well. Just like every other friendship I've ever had... they realize they love me and I love them back, and drop me like a rock either on purpose, or by death. I don't blame them for the death of course, but I can recognize a pattern. No, I don't blame them for anything, just myself. I'm the one who only lives in the world of unrequited love. I'm the defective one. I almost want to have a girlfriend... boyfriend, doesn't matter which and just play the part with them as well. It seems so wrong though. To be romantic for years, yet still lie to them constantly. I don't know how my ancestors managed it for more than a quick seduction. Ha! I'm even weaker in that aspects than all the other kitsune. My stupid sympathy for humans strikes again. Then again I couldn't do it as Youko either. I need to go kill someone...
December 19th
I've been quite busy... most of the gifts are done. In another spiraling angst brought on by hormones. I never used to get these as a demon, but apparently the human need to be loved is compounded by the demonic one and Shuichi would have been just as frustratingly tactile without me. I tried cuddling a power supplier, they weren't particularly interested in that as it would be 'too weird'. Yes, too weird to actaully touch someone more than necessary. Jerk. Then again, I've been going to him since I was... three? That sounds a bit right. Maybe I can just drop him since I don't have to look for the ***** any more? No... my attention keeps him from going after other children who would actually be hurt. I'll just have to kill him, then move on. How frustrating is it that I had to land in Japan? Where people bow rather than shake hands because heaven forbid two people come in to contact. The only touching is in the form of 'glomping' and only then by hyperactive girls with too much perfume and not enough clothing. Just like demon world... Holidays are nice though, mother gets huggy as well from all the Christmas cheer and even though it's just occasional, maybe three times a month for two months... it's still wonderful.
December 26th
Christmas was lovely, Hiei is wearing his new scarf, Mother loves her necklace, and I'm freezing. Depression always hits harder when it's cold out... Hiei saw that and lit my bookshelf on fire for me. I'm not sure if it was meant to be a kind gesture or not. At least humans get something similar... Seasonal Affected Disorder and it's quite common, so I don't need to come up with an explanation for mother. It seems to be affecting her this year as well. Always hurts to see her sad.
January 23rd
Still miserable, so is mother. Hiei is occasionally letting me sit a bit closer to him for warmth. In return I'm not calling the gesture sweet for him. Still no sign of Yukina.
March 1st
Yes, I skipped a lot of time. Mother is sick, and I can't figure out what it is. I've been trying non-stop to come up with a cure, but nothing is working. Hiei is beginning to doubt my healing skills. I don't blame him. Surely I should be able to cure a human disease.
March 3rd
It isn't a human disease, I've kept her safe too long and she should have died by now. It's actually a spirit world disease caused when someone subtly toys with fate too long. I know of an artifact in a Reikai vault that would cure it, now to convince Hiei...
March 5th
I told Hiei about the demon sword. He's all for it and wondering why I want to go at all. He remarked that I'm vain for wanting a magical mirror of all things and is pressing me for what it does. As if I weren't evasive enough to avoid his knowing until it's too late. I know he'd try to stop me too.
March 7th
Hiei found Gouki, who didn't believe I'm actually Youko Kurama. I think in seeing my demonstration for him, power I rarely have to use, I reaffirmed Hiei's thoughts and did away with suspicion. He's just a soul stealer interested in the orb sealed away with the sword and mirror, so he's leeching on for that reason. I'm planning the heist, and obviously I'm not going to write that down. I'm just glad whoever Koenma sends will make short work of Gouki... probably before he can really use the orb. Thief's almanac says they'll be the descendant of Raizen, but won't unlock the full potential for another few years. He's beginning to rise though. By calculations he is powerful enough to take out Gouki no sweat, not yet powerful to even come close to defeating me, and... Hiei would barely beat him. I'll have to intercept to save Hiei the battle.
March 10th
Set up a date for the heist, my mother's health is failing worse. The full moon is on the 28th. The theft is set for when Enma will be away so there aren't immediate repercussions. Did research on the current spirit detective, Yusuke Urameshi. Recently reanimated, a slacker in school, a real jerk apparently but no one expected him to die in an act of selflessness. Then again, spirit world is comprised mostly of idiots. Apparently they didn't notice him working at the orphanage, generally helping all the children he could. Still, they didn't plan for it which meant he got to be brought back. Some mentions of abuse, but I'm keeping my nose out of that or I'll start being too sympathetic. Sayaka's report says his girlfriend has too many positive markings to mesh well with him... by just the information, it's quite obvious she's of the wrong orientation and doesn't know it yet, potential for heartbreak but he seems quite attached to her. It wouldn't be a good idea to put her in danger like Hiei wants to. His current attack is a rei-gun, running at one per day, 150 mph, 390 with the concentration ring. That clocks in at 10.5mph faster than Hiei can run. (It went on to list everything he'd found out about Yusuke that wasn't too personal, showing he had boundaries of how much he looked up before he killed someone. They weren't very big and even went in to measurements, secret crushes he'd displayed in school, all of the grades he ever got from what teachers, his written ideas on philosophy and such... but he didn't know some things and seemed to want to give Yusuke the wild card chance.)
March 26
Stole the items, got away clean. Gouki killed a few of the unnecessary ones, thank goodness he's a weakling. I don't know why we really needed him, but Hiei said he wanted an upper class minion that wasn't stronger than himself for world domination, I guess that's the reason... I hate to ruin his plans though. He deserves a bit of power after what happened to him. However, I'll give the mirror back once it's used, and unlike Gouki, I won't die before I use it like an idiot. Plus I'll kill the detective so Hiei won't crumble before I die. I'm not sure I want to though, saw him in the forest and my predictions were spot on... he could be really good for the world. Now to choose between good for the world and good for Hiei. Actually, Hiei would kill him anyway, though barely... it would be pointless to try to keep him alive. I'll just off him next time I see him. Wouldn't be the first time I've killed someone I'm attached to through research... but he sounds like a really nice guy and more than killing I just want to give him a hug. Than again, I want to give everyone a hug. Even my teachers got hugs since I'll be dying soon. Most were uncomfortable, I think I preferred that over Mr. Auburn's reaction.
March 29
When I met Yusuke a few days ago, I'm ashamed to say I saw him like a glutton sees his last meal. I was desperate, and in need of physical comfort. The only human I'd ever loved and been loved by was on her death bed, I knew I was going to die, I'd just stolen the instrument I would use in my final hours. Meanwhile, the only people I could approach were Goki, the medical miracle that proved one could live without a brain who by the way was also dead so... less of a medical miracle now, and Hiei who is as cuddly as... I can't think of anything less cuddly than Hiei right now and considering my botanical and zoological knowledge, that is saying something. Anyone at school would terrorize me with frighting fangirlish things they wanted to do with/to/at me, or use the contact against me. Then there was Yusuke. Something about him walking down the street just screamed comfort. Innocent eyes, trusting posture, I don't know what it is, but something about him limping made my hormones act up like no one's buisness. Maybe I was projecting desperation on to him since I didn't have long. I guess I'd always wanted to go out with a wham and a bam as well... die satiated if nothing else. Hormones were incredibly distracting, and honestly something about him put it's foot down so I couldn't kill him. That's why I arranged a date in such a hurried manner. At that point, with nothing to loose, it was just my honor (very little exists, but some does) that was keeping me from jumping him. After all, it would be more than criminal to get close to him only to die in his arms. Death so close could hurt him so badly, Gouki not-withstanding. So, I prepared myself to just... tell him. Seek my comfort through conversation. Tell my story and hope he hated me because then I wouldn't feel so bad for jumping him, but curse him he didn't. The only comfort I had at that point was in knowing that the one time I absolutely did not want to be loved by anyone, seconds before death, I finally got to feel love from someone who wasn't my mother. But then, he offered his life for mine. Imagine... the guy that just pulled me in like a magnet actually, genuinely loved me. Before I even loved him. Not some random bout of lust, actual love. What I'd worked and screamed, toiled and gave up then tried again for was suddenly presented so matter of factly that it made me re-think killing myself. If there was someone who would actually miss me, someone who could love me as much as I loved them... maybe it was worth living. But no, my mother was too important. She had loved me for a long time, and I was the devoted son dammit. That's who I am, who I chose to be, and nothing has ever shaken my resolve to be who I wanted so much. Then of all things I woke up again. We were both alive and panic set in. The mirror was deactivated again, so it must not have worked. He'd thwarted my suicide rescue attempt and I was angry. It was not his place to take this choice away from me, but... no. My mother recovered, the wish was granted without killing either of us. Rules about that sort of thing are supposed to be set in stone. Breaking them a serious offense. You don't bend the rules carved in stone, but somehow that innocent and loving kid... not even a fraction of my age had slipped through the cracks. I don't know right now if I hate him, love him, admire him, or worship him. I thought writing it out could get my head straight, and no such luck. Well, love or hate him, I'm in his debt. That certainly counts for something. He was gone before I got back up on to the roof. I know he's going after Hiei next... but I don't know who's side I want to be on any more. I don't think I could stand for either of them to die. I guess... I'll just have to find a way to keep them from killing eachother. Ha! Maybe I can get in good with Raizen this way... Won't be able to pull them apart with words but... Yusuke seems to like me, and Hiei does like me though he'd never admit it... If I intercept an attack to end up injured they'll both tone it down a little.
April 1st
Hiei is on my bed recovering right now. Just did a few favors for Koenma to get him out of prison. Why break him out? If I wrote them Hiei would punch me. There's some sort of instinct that just screams to keep him safe. Gravitate them towards Yusuke. Maybe that was the hatred and masochism talking again? After all, first meeting with Yusuke rendered me extremely uncomfortable, then noticeably not dead, then with a sword through my stomach and still remarkably not dead. Is spite for him the only thing keeping me alive now? No... no point fooling myself anymore, I do hate him, don't get me wrong, the fact that such a human exists and is so unreachable by any moral standards just proves how big a (the word was scribbled out, replaced with) jerk king Yama is... but it's infatuation keeping me here. He loves me, and in my attention starved existence that's too much not to love him back. How sick it is for me to be stuck loving, being loved, and unable to touch. Think, but don't speak it. Watch, but not too long. Don't put him off, but resist the attraction. Not too much to hurt him though! Not so little he's led on. Balance on this pin while you fight your inner demons now, you're on a pedestal for the rest of his life. No, you can't kill him to get down either. You're stuck there. Fate is a fickle sadist and I want to tear her eye out. Still though, I'll take what I can get. I suppose this is the Midas touch of the kitsune race... someone who loves one even knowing what we are, without lust... yet we can not get too close to them. Can not seduce them, must be separate. Platonic at best. It hurts more than being stabbed through the chest with a sword filled with poison, and I'd know. I'm still healing that one. How is it that Hiei is the one who lost his battle, yet I'm left hurt the most? Why am I even asking any more, story of my life. I'd like to say teach me to get involved, but it won't. I'm too curious, too nosy to keep to my own buisness. No, Yusuke has a girl friend, a mother, and if he actually knows I love him instead of just acting out of debt, he'll move on as well. All that and I have to keep more secrets to keep him. Have to play a part. Have to make myself a worthy companion for him and sit off in the shadows as a friend because he's already in love with someone else. Tried dying and what happens? I get tossed in to a vicious love triangle where I'm a third wheel. Well, getting all of the obligatory teenaged angst didn't help either. Surprise surprise. I guess I'm stuck with a few years of sexual tension and parole then. At least my mother is alive and well. At least I can still be the devoted son, and at least I can still make the people around me happy. Plus Yusuke's girlfriend is actually in the closet and the wrong orientation... Oh, Hiei's waking up. If he found out I indulge in such pitiful and human displays of self pity, I'd end up tasting his blade. Not in the fun way either, in the sharp instrument of war in my mouth thing. Again, not in the fun way.
April 5th
Alright, brilliant. I hate him, I love him, I'm obsessed with him, and I was this close... it's hard to write how close I was, to stalking him. Hiei is rubbing off on me and I just know he's laughing his third eye off at me. He found the journal, and asked how I can write this without vomiting. I told him about the stomach soothing qualities of peppermint. He seemed impressed. Thankfully less violent than I thought he would be. Then again, that was after I read him Shakespeare so he was happy to read anything less self indulgent than tragic Elizabethan prose. Back to the stalking though, since I'm quite clear on the subject of Hiei. The reaper girl, Boton was talking to him today, he looked as though he was getting another mission, yet Koenma had not informed us. Was he being stupid and forgot he had two demons to help Yusuke? No... he was training him by what? Oh... matching him up against a demon about twenty times stronger and immeasurably older than him with no back up! Well, I was right about the stupid part. Hiei agrees. I'm glad.
Oh, it's official now. We have orders not to help or follow him. That means that if we do, it's breaking parole. I suggested that we help anyway, Hiei looked at me like I was crazy. I guess that's the hating loving obsessing part again. They tend to sneak up on me like makai liquor. Ah, but it's so tasty... moving on. He's against Rando. The similarity to Rambo does not escape me as it does Hiei by the way, and generally it's a bad idea to match the green-ling detective against the green beret. Yeah, Hiei just read over my shoulder. He has no idea what I'm------ (It trailed off in to an ink blot.) What I'm writing about, but tried to wrestle it away from me mid word seeing how often his name has popped up. Haha, he just told me to either be obsessed with my mother, Yusuke, or him, but don't stretch myself too thin. How sweet (the word sweet had a line through it.) how woefully perceptive and right of him. For truly this is advice I should follow. Well, back to the stalking thing, because that's really bugging me. I'm not a stalker type person usually, only if the mission requires it. Why would I be so close to pulled in to acting that way around him? I may be older than dirt, but love remains a mystery to me. I think I like it better that way, as infuriating as it is. I know he'll eventually beat Rando of course, Rando loves to monologue and Yusuke loves to interrupt those. It will be a close battle though. Luck will probably decide it, which means Yusuke will win. Karma wouldn't let anything else happen and if it does, I'll figure out a way to get him back. Orders or not.
April 10th
Yusuke is away for three months of training. Unfortunately, I miss him. I don't check with his mother every day like Keiko is doing, I'm not that clingy, but... I'd like to go check with him anyway. Hiei figured out what the Forlorn Hope was supposed to do through Yusuke's thoughts. He kicked my butt for being suicidal and not telling him. I think he's just mad that despite his mind reading powers I can still keep secrets yet pry all of his out without trying.
April 15th
Still no Yusuke. It's starting to really bug me. I only got an A on my calculus exam because I forgot to show my work on one of the problems. This is getting serious. I also lost track of a few demons for my almanac. Hiei says it doesn't matter, it does. Chasing the butterfly effect requires you to have all the butterflies.
April 20th
There is still a notable absence of Yusuke. My grades are declining and I can't help but watch out the window for him like he'd magically appear. Hiei offered to go check on him, but then realized we can't get through Genkai's barriers unless she us wants to. I know what he's up to, I've observed Genkai's training before and the only person looking like they might attack the area at all are the keepers of the Netherworld who... while powerful, are still about a year from their plans. I'll have to make a mental not to pull in the relics... I can't activate them until they attack to protect spirit world, but at least I can pull them all in to Japan so we have easier access to them. Now if only I could get them closer together than that.
April 25th
I actually got a B. I'm appalled. Something is seriously wrong, I need to go see him now.
April 26th
Went to see Yusuke, I used the plant network to see him through a particularly flexible tulip's eye in Genkai's garden. She's putting him through hell, but he's living through it.... alright, I also might have watched a little too long, but he was sweating and overexerting himself, I was obsessed and in love and hated him which I'm beginning to think just belong together, and I still don't have anyone to cuddle dammit. I don't think I've ever been this frustrated without decapitating someone. Hiei darted around the world and brought the relics, he says he might help when the netherworld attacks. As much as he hates it when I say this, he really is a very nice person.
April 27th
Well, my grades are back to normal. So now Yusuke controls my personal life, by buisness life, my academic life... I'm supposed to be the control freak here. The hate side of the scale is definitely rising, but... so are the other two. Absence makes the heart grow fonder I guess. Either that or when the last thing you see of him is a very attractive, sweaty, yet young and naive center of your attention wearing very little clothing, it gets difficult to think about much else. Yep, drifting off now. Luckily when not faced with pen and paper, I'm much better about self control. I let Hiei read this because it amuses him, but to anyone else it's just mad scribbling and illusions. The security really isn't worth the information though, anyone with two or more eyes can see the obsession. Thankfully though, Yusuke seems to have one eye looking everywhere else, so I'm scraping by.
I noticed a few Makai Insects hanging around, someone must have found the whistle. They aren't using it yet though. I'm currently figuring out who it could be.
May 2nd
I went to see him again, I've officially accepted that I'm pathetic, my self loathing is reaching new heights, but I guess that's to be expected. Stupid obsession, stupid love. It's supposed to be a choice. I guess it still is though, we haven't started anything despite mutual attraction. That's still a choice. To live in torment, or more torment. Or die, but that's not really an option I'd like to explore. Nope, everything anyone ever said about choosing who you fall in love with is a liar. Well, for kitsunes anyway. We can't help but reciprocate. Why did I have to be born in to a race of one night stands so desperate for affection the would do anything for it? All right, so it might be what I want most, but I wouldn't do anything for affection. My current actions prove it. I can't tell if it would be braver right now to face him, or to hide. Both are equally terrifying.
Couldn't see much of Yusuke, he was sitting in a snake pit. I'm pretty sure it's for the best, he seemed remarkably comfy down there and as much as Hiei is bringing out my inner stalker, I think it's best if I just know he's safe without knowing the (the word sexy was crossed out) details.
May 10th
I haven't gone to see him again, without the visions of nearly naked Yusuke's dancing about in my head I can actually concentrate, and know he's safe without stalking. That's good too, because I was really beginning to feel like a pervert. I am of course, but when you feel like it and it's a bad thing, then something is wrong. Hiei doesn't understand why stalking is bad. Sometimes, I forget that he is essentially the forbidden child, and thus... still a child. I suppose any link to my demonic past is automatically thought ancient when really, he's only a few decades old. Barely five by human standards. The urge to cuddle him was stronger than normal today, but please don't kill me, alright Hiei? If you'll notice, I did not cuddle you, or touch you, or even properly picture it without mentally slicing myself up with your sword. Again, not in the fun way.
May 25th
Still no Yusuke. The obsession has wavered off in to a slight paranoia now that I've had time to settle down from the turmoil of she's dying, I'm dying so she'll live, he's dying so I'll live, wait, no one died, I'm dying so he'll live but wait, I also didn't die, is everyone around here freaking immortal, what is love, baby don't hurt me I hate you I'm not used to being loved thing. Even for a demon, that's a little too much turmoil for proper thinking. But now, I've stopped going to see him. I may still be writing about my teetering obsession with him in an increasingly girly journal, but I'm improving. I can do this.
June 9th
Slight relapse, I hugged a fellow student in my desperation for cuddles. She enjoyed it far too much, and it left me smelling like a vile perfume. Hiei is laughing his butt off again because my nose keeps twitching. Times like this I hate my keen ability to smell. Showed him how to play connect four (I had a box lying around, he asked.) and he got mad at me because I won in three moves. He decided not to play strategy games with me anymore. I'm pretty sure it's the four saint beasts who have the whistle based on the area affected, the type of insects, and the timing. The black caravan was scheduled to go by their castle around April 26th, and according to Hiei Raizen is calling a 'missing item give it back or I'll chew your head off' flier. I'm not sure why they want it just yet though, or if they've gotten smarter than when I last stole from them. They could threaten spirit world with it, but if they've actually gotten smarter, they could simply release the insects in to the human world in mass, break the whistle so that they all head back through a portal, get a portal maker to go through, (Suzaku could run portals last I checked) get out to freedom, then use Genbu's powers to create an impenetrable layer while they called in minions from across demon world to be free to hunt in human world. So, it will either be a 'break the whistle' mission or a 're-direct the portal one.'
July 1st
Yusuke is back, so what's the first thing he does? Goes on a date with Keiko. Despite the fact that she is quite obviously (to me anyway) the wrong orientation. Were she not though... for his mask yes, she'd be the perfect girlfriend. A role model, keeping him in line, not letting herself get pushed around... but for who he actually is, he needs someone entirely different. Someone not quite as powerful, who can grow along with him to be devoted and always be right there to help him heal. So... date. Yep, thanks for the reminder there. I'm not even sure who's the forbidden fruit here anymore, me or him. He's definately more forbidden, but I'm definitely more of the fruit. Hiei is laughing at that and he doesn't even get the reference to homosexuality. Oh, wait, now he does because I explained it. Why? Because the sight of him convulsing with laughter in my window is incredibly entertaining, and he owes me that entertainment for allowing him to read my journal. Mother thinks I have a crush on a girl at school. About time she realized it too, I'm rather obvious about it when I'm not around him. Maybe it's just my urge to entertain. They could turn this in to a soap opera... probably have already somewhere in demon world. Maybe even on earth, the junk they come up with is certainly odd enough. Sure enough, time to go to the four saint beasts to get the whistle. They really haven't gotten smarter. I wish I could keep tabs on the vampires and non-criminal demons this well. Hiei says I'm ridiculously meticulous and we need to pack up now if Yusuke and Kuwabara are going to survive the ambush outside the castle.
July 4th
Maze castle was quite boring, knew everything that was going to happen there anyway. Managed to be convincingly injured by a weak enemy so Yusuke won't develop a demon inferiority complex, and it made Hiei mentally snicker for an hour straight and replay my strained words again and again while pointing out that I was running with a stomach wound. Well, at least if he hadn't seen me fight before he would have believed it quite readily, I am actually a good actor, but I guess for someone who knows my actual strength it would be rather silly to watch. I also may have played it up a little bit for Yusuke's attention. Just a little. Shh! Don't tell anyone. Unfortunately I did not get to see Yusuke's battle with Suzaku, but the mental imagery is full of torture, screaming, and long monologues. I'm torturing him with my mind now... It scares me a little that I'm a little turned on by it. Then again I always liked pain. Oh, Yusuke being sadistic. Now that'd definitely sexy. I think I'll stick with that daydream. He deserves to inflict a little pain on his enemies after all he's been through. Hiei says watching a perverted demon daydream about sadism in a human isn't what he signed up for. I showed him the contract he signed, section 84-paragraph B. He seemed frustrated that there was a generic 'prove him wrong' clause, that section 84-paragraph A says, "No it isn't" while B says, "Yes it is." It's been amended to 'not what he meant to sign up for. (That's the contract I had him sign while healing him to ensure he didn't spill my secrets. Actually meant to irritate him so I could see him at full angry power to see if it's safe to keep him around. It is. He's very disappointed.) He was also quite angry at the fact that while carrying Yusuke he realized I'd put a seed of life energy in him before Kuwabara even got there as a first reflex. He seems to think that sacrificing myself for humans five times in less than half a year is unhealthy. I'm just surprised he didn't pick up on the whole planting a seed metaphor. Ah, he does now that I pointed it out and says he forgives me now if it gets this ball rolling.
July 5th
Watched the video surveillance. I'm sad to admit, it was more Suzaku torturing Yusuke than the other way around. There go all the mental images of Yusuke with a whip... As a side note though, Kieko seemed far more interested in Boton than Yusuke. Think maybe he's figured it out? Not very likely...
July 10th
Hiei's sister is kidnapped, I am healing myself after being defiled through the 19 gateways of hell as punishment for telling him about it, then physically tortured while I was in shock. Way to kick the fox while he's down there guys. Leaving me in prison afterward with my energy sealed in painfully? Yeah. Icing on the cake. I left an apology dessert for Koenma, and I really hurt right now. However, Hiei came back from his trailing towards Yukina to check up on me, and even gave me a hiruseki stone with some power to it so that I could re-grow my leg. He's pretty furious by the way, but I'm just about unconscious, so I'll leave it at that. Found an odd lizard demon who appears to be stalking Shiori. I'm keeping an eye on him and put some reactive protective plants in mother's food... just in case.
July 11th
Well, all's done and thankfully no one but Hiei knows about my little rendezvous with the ouchy table. Yes, I call it the ouchy table. It takes away some of the fear. Hiei says I'm pathetic. I think he's a little worried. After all, I'm the king of bandits, I'm not being the cold, aloof jerk he always hear about. The crazy meticulous planning and randomly knowing everything is the only thing spot on so far. At least I can assure him that it's due to the fusion with a human soul. Youko would have screwed the rules... then Yusuke... then the rules agian, probably followed by Yusuke again, laughed in the face of whoever defied him, then got his stupid cuddles without all of this human drama. I wish Shuichi's devotion to his mother and my desperation for love didn't restrain him like that. Mind you, I don't have multiple personality disorder, I don't have three sets of consciousness, but I have brain patterns locked away in storage like blue-prints for a brain. The personalities are not active, do not speak, do not take over, but they are there. Writing this out because I feel silly referring to myself in the third person. The only times I talk to myself are... when I feel like it. It's actually sort of fun really. I think Hiei's a little mad that I couldn't find Yukina when she was just in Tarukone's mansion. Of course the tags that prevent the Jigan from finding her also work against plants and cameras. I did pick up on the occasional selling of Hiruseki stones, but they were being sold from Italy which means they could have been from anywhere and the paper trail is usually made out of blood there. He still doesn't trust my abilities. I don't blame him. That's about it for today though, I'm quite tired and extremely in need of physical comfort again after being forced through so much, but I guess a pillow is cuddly enough for tonight.
July 20th
Leaving this journal behind for the Dark Tournament. Too much chance of it being used against me. Hiei offered to burn it, I was quite tempted, but no. I have a plant that will keep it safe. Perhaps my first slip of wisdom... How silly that people think I'm wise. I'm only clever, and there is quite the difference. Clever solves problems. Wisdom avoids them. Prediction is... Yusuke and Togoro will face off in the final match and... Checking the almanac... Yusuke's power level right now is about 325 as opposed to Togoro's 934. Two month tournament at about 2.25% higher improvement rate than his current training will put him at 740. Add Genkai's 500 spirit power orb and if he can handle it he'll have no problem. I'm sure he will. I encountered a time traveling phoenix back in my bandit days that was bright blue and had his hair, so I think that was his spirit beast by the energy signature. So he will live long enough for it to mature, meaning he will live through Togoro's fight. He won't loose because if the elder Togoro wins, he would wish us all dead. Can't tell him that of course, otherwise he'd slack off during the battles and not train himself well enough, or be too confident, which would ruin the integrity of my almanac. That means Hiei will need to win his fight as well though. Karasu usually preys on the weakest of the team so I'll end up with him, and Bui... hmm... Bui is a hard one to predict. Well, in any case. As long as I play prey for Karasu for a while then surprise him in the ring I should make it out by the skin of my teeth. I'm quite certain Kuwabara would be able to defeat the elder Togoro, he's the best suited for it, but not so much against Bui. Whoever gets Bui is in serious trouble... Oh, our fifth is Genkai. She told me not to tell anyone. Her sneaky-ness is quite impressive and if I hadn't escaped her during her tournament days, I'd be fooled as well. I have a nagging feeling that If I don't interfere a lot though, we won't get to the final rounds as it's in my nature to interfere a lot.
July 30th
(The writing is a good deal messier and smudged as it was written with his left hand.)
Dark tournament is over. My right arm no longer works at all. Karasu threw too many bombs to keep up with. I replaced both my legs altogether... pretty easy since they've both been cut off... twice now? So desperate these people are to keep me from running. I might as well just keep them plants. My arm really hurts though, I can't replace it this month though, my body wouldn't be able to handle so many re-additions so quickly. After all is said and done, Karasu's mask is actually kept on pretty well. He's probably older than me too, and particularly good at mind games. If he weren't so... creepy and sadistic I'd regret killing him. I'm glad it was just my hair he had a crush on and not me.
Also, Keiko broke up with Yusuke. I don't think I've been this simultaneously ecstatic and distraught since I figured out what Willis was actually talking about. No longer taken, but incredibly depressed... The urge to cuddle Yusuke is on the rise. On a side note, so that I am not tempted to simply do away with the memory, I'm going to just get it out on paper. No use living if you don't learn from it. While I was beating myself up over the ichigaki and masho teams, as I tend to do if I lose so that as I said, I can learn from it, I was discovered. Of course it had to be at my very weakest point where I was literally and metaphorically lower than dirt. Karasu decided to take advantage of it. Rather expertly planted the seeds for his later mental harassment right along the physical, so both were more powerful. I have to say, I'm grudgingly impressed. Not many people can ruin another so quickly and effectively. Thankfully no one noticed the eight hour disappearance and Hiei knows of my learning habits, so... I'm not letting him read this any more. This is now purely my motivation to remember. So, other things to remember. The Idun Box and fruit of past lives are far too effective to use frequently. They reverted me all the way back to only 300 years old! 300 instead of 3000. It's too hard to get the dosages right. Ha, if it had pulled me back to the correct age I could have taken down Togoro with a flip off my hair. That would have been a fun match. But, I suppose it was not to be. I still have some fruit of the afterlife in my bag though, it gives me back some of Youko's power every time I drink it. Unfortunately I don't have a 'spirit muscle' like everyone else in the team does, my power is related directly to my absorption abilities and efficiency, so I can't train back up to that level. I have to actually change and the fruit of the past life does that for me. I've also memorized the coding for it, so I can make it myself. I pity
