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sigh idk its raining outside.I love the rain.
It's sad.It's sad how i have to be the bigger person.It's sad how i know what's going to happen but i do it anyway. I can see what is going to become of us but i still continue to be with him.Why i can't i just be that quite and shy person i once was? I miss having some one make the desitions for me.I've been so caught up in looking for some one like her that is a guy i just didnt stop and take a step back to think hey maybe i dont need a guy. :/ I dont need any one really but im there wen im needed.
It kinda hurt wen he said he didnt need me.He made it clear right there wut was going to happen.I hate waiting around for some thing that isnt ganna happen. I have to at least give him some happy memory's becuz im not ganna be here for long. The only way im staying is if he said, please stay with me, i need you. but we both know thats not ganna ever happen so i might as well get myself ready to go for the day he be comes aware that im not all that im cracked up to be.
It sucks.It sucks to love so many but to never have love or to feel it.On many night i couldnt sleep i would text some one who i was close to but after my last fall i've lost all faith in ppl. I have to start all over again and find some one who will hold me till i stop crying.
yawn im starting to get sleepy so i should take this small window n see if i can sleep. peace out!