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*The camera opens up on a Mansion with Chris (the host of total drama island) standing in front of it*
Chris: What’s up people, Chris here with a special news report, the big man in charge has decided to can the whole Mad House thing, well that’s all folks see ya.
*Chris turns around and walks in the house, a few minutes later he walks back out slapping his thigh*
Chris: HAHAHAHAHAHA.........ah......whew....haaa, you shoulda seen the look on your faces, i’m just kidding , instead we have the cast list here for your viewing pleasure.
*pulls a sheet of paper out of his pocket and holds it to the camera, a large red stain is clearly visible in the bottom*
Cast Sheet
Screen Name, Preferred Name
Evilofficer, Andrew
Loyde Reed, Loyde
Shinn Asakura28, Carter
Rygeor, Rygeor
WillDamous, Will
Alexandra Reed, Alexandra
Smith, Smith
Jill, Jill
Evilofficer’s Cats, Andre & Mika


Chris: Sorry about the blood stain, when chef whacked Andrew with the giant Hammer it just splashed everywhere.
Andrew: GOD DANGIT THAT F*****G HURT.
Chris: Oh crap chef hit him with the hammer again, we don’t want him running around before the other contestants get here.
*Chef opens up the door holding a hammer that says 10T on it*
Chef: Already on it.
*Chef runs back in the house but is sent flying back out by an unknown source, Andrew exits the building with a grey cat and an orange cat on either side of him, a large bloodied bandage is visible on his head*
Andrew: Andre, Mika, sick him.
* The cats jump towards chef and send him flying with a kick*
Chris: WAAAAAAAAAAT, CHEF HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE
Chef: CHRIS MAN YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW STRONG THOSE CATS ARE.
Chris: Wait if the cats can take you out how strong is Andrew
Andrew: I’d tell you but we’ll let the viewers wait in anticipation, come on Mika & Andre I’ll get you some kibbles.
Andre: I want catfish kibbles
Mika: I want Tuna
Andrew: Ok you can have whatever you want.
Chef: d-d-did those cats just talk
Andrew: no of course not silly
A&M: MEOW
*Andrew and his cats all flash chef cheesy smiles and then run inside*
Chris: ooooooooooooooooooook then, well hopefully all the participants will get here before Chef and Andrew destroy the house. The next episode will be coming to you soon from a journal near you until then see ya.
*chris starts heading back to the house but is sent sprawling when an explosion erupts from the kitchen*
Chef: DO NOT TOUCH MY KITCHEN
Andrew: BUT MY CATS WANT KIBBLES
Chris: Oh god this house isn’t going to last to long.

*Next episode to come soon, or as soon as I stop being lazy*