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ugh. work was horrible.

The first place we went was ok- I did garbage, etc...
Then we went somewhere new (Brenda and I went to DQ first though lol) for me, and it was, quite frankly, a mess. There I proceeded to BREAK a vacuum... they were saying how it was on it's last leg, then when I was almost done, it just quit having suction. So I just sat there for a few minutes, and decided I couldn't fix it. So then I had to call the head lady (shuddap I can't remember names worth a crap tonight) and yeah... she said that the belt was broken...
After that we went to the usual ending place. (Which I'm hating more and more as the days go by...) I felt so useless because I was going so slow compared to Becca.... *sigh* then I just asked her if I could do something else separate from her, so I didn't have that pressure. Stupid teamwork makes me depressed... Then after that I was doing surfaces really slow (I was hating myself for hating myself and wallowing in self-pity over nothing) and when it came to vacuuming I was totally out of it. I felt rotten for not being worth this job and doing a quite shitty and slow job of it. crying Then a little later one of the girls walks up and asks "Did you do the surfaces at the end of the hallway?" As my night should go, I had forgotten to do those, and was just about to have a breakdown (I was showing the pre-signs of one...) when she just took my head between her hands and gently shook me saying "It's fine!" I just looked sheepishly at the floor... when she went back to what she was doing, I tried hard not to cry. Dammit this night was total s**t. crying

So of course that led to the crying on the way home (which is getting to be the norm, actually...), turning up the radio almost to the point of blowing the speakers out, and making it so damn cold that I had goosebumps all the way home.

But on the last stretch of road I just stopped the car. I needed a break. I turned off the radio and the headlights, opened the sunroof, and promptly stuck my upper body through it and stared at the stars for a good five minutes.

I got an email once that said that by the end of August Mars was supposed to be as big as the moon. I admit, it's brighter than usual, but nowhere near as big as the moon. Liars.

Do you ever think about how small we are compared to the rest of the universe? We're just one spec, one iota, of matter. I saw the Milky Way. I saw thousands of stars, each one farther away than man can imagine going to in one's mortal life.

It is no wonder why we want to, though- the challenge is there, to be taken on and won.

Just like the rest of this thing they call life.