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It's been two whole years now.

I'm still trying as hard as I can. My doctor says I am getting better. Last night was actually the first night in more than 9 years where I didn't have much of a problem with my health. I can hope that it will get better from here, but I don't know. I may get well, or I may not.

In 2003 I came to believe I could do anything if I tried hard enough. I had already done the impossible once. I knew I could do it again. I would fight as hard as I could until I won. I knew that even if I was sick, I would still live to see all that I want so much in life. If I couldn't have kids of my own... if I never got well, I'd still see my friends have a family. I'd get to meet their kids. In that way, I'd live my dreams, by seeing them live the life I always wanted. I looked forward to that day.

I met people like Stacey, Mara and Tsume, Zeb, and many others here. I got to share a little piece of my dreams with them. I have not forgotten about any of you. I promise you, I am trying as hard as I can to get well.

I still... don't know what will happen from here. The person who means everything to me... has lost the chance to have what she wants. I don't know if she'll ever have it. I lived just to see the day she would tell me she has found her dreams. If I can't have anything for myself... seeing her make it was all I wished for.

Stacey, Mara, Zeb, you are all wonderful people. I know you will find your dreams. I wish to see the day when it happens. I'm fighting as hard as I can for my future, but if someone who means so much to me can lose out... I don't know if I will make it either.
I'm afraid.