You people stare at me like i am some unwanted spectacle thats capable of spreading some unborn virus. Hell, you can't even look at me at times. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL??? That breaks me on the inside. Weakens my self-esteem, lower than it already is. Its reached a level where i just want to be STRIKED by the reins of hell. At least over there i won't look, or feel unwanted cause i would be DEAD! I wouldn't have any emotions. Is THAT what you want?! For me to go away. I know you are my guardian. You say you love me. Coming from the mouth. Is that coming from the heart, as well? Let me know. I beg. Though, i hate begging. I despise stooping to your level. That just makes me cringe. The feeling of failure comes through my skinny, bony, ugly, hideous, body. I just can't surrender. I could NEVER! But, if i don't, that just might kill me....I feel like crying... I look away from the mirror...I really think i am going to cry...It hurts so much...
 Nicky_Nic · Sat Jul 18, 2009 @ 05:31am · 0 Comments |
