It's about a challenge between Spock and Kirk (Star Trek) - Edward (Twilight) and Spike (Buffy)
The Challenge
[The USS Enterprise is orbiting a far off planet]
Uhura: Captain, we’re getting a transmition.
Kirk: Alright, put it through
[Two faces appear in front screen]
Edward: Hello Enterprise. My name is Edward Cullen, and this is my friend Spike.
[Spike waves]
[Kirk and Spock look at each other]
Edward: We wish to propose a challenge. There has been much debate on who would win between us and you all.
[Kirk turns to Spock]
Kirk: Who are they?
Spock: Vampires. Alternate versions of humans. [Under his breath] Very illogical creatures.
[Kirk turns to screen]
Kirk: What are the terms of your proposal?
Spike: A combat of wits and strength.
[Spock raises eyebrow]
Kirk: Where and when?
Edward: Here and now.
Spock [to screen]: But you are on Earth and we are in space. It is illogical for us to reach Earth with our distance at this precise moment
Spike: I thought you had one of those tele-porter thingies. Can’t you use that?
[Kirk turns to Spock]
Kirk: I think we can do it, right Scotty?
Scotty [from overhead]: Aye Captain! I think wee can do it!
Kirk: Great! We’re coming down!
Scotty: Aye!
Spock: But captain, wait, I find this very ill-
Kirk: “Illogical.” Yes, but come on Spock! We haven’t been doing anything for a long while! The Klingons are not doing anything, and we finally lost the fan-girls!
[Kirk and Spock shutter]
Kirk [to screen]: Ok, we’ll do it. Just give us your coordinates.
Spock: Captain, please-
Kirk: Spock, relax. This will be an easy fight. . . After all, we have phasers!
[Kirk and Spock walk to beam room]
Kirk: Scotty, you ready?
Scotty: Aye sir!
Spock: Captain! Please, we need to come up with a strategy. These are Vampires we’re dealing with.
Kirk [annoyed]: Alright, fine. What do you propose we do?
[Spock thinks]
Spock: Scotty, if I may. . .
[Spock takes Scotty’s seat]
Kirk: Spock, what are you doing?!
Spock: They said they wanted a combat of wits. I’m using my logic.
[Kirk looks at Scotty, both shrug]
~~~
[Edward and Spike, shirtless, pose dramatically as they wait]
Edward: What is taking them so long?
Spike: I don’t know! What. . . what’s that! What’s hap-!
[Edward and Spike are covered in light, then disappear]
~~~
[Spock stands up]
Spock: All done.
[Kirk and Scotty look confused]
Scotty: If you don’t mind me askin’, but what did you do?
Spock: Well, our enemies are Vampires. [Shrugs]. I did the only logical thing to do that would let us win the challenge.
Kirk: What’s that?
[Spock grins evilly]
Spock: I sent them to the sun.
[Kirk is face-palm.]
EPILOUGE!
[Bella and Buffy are standing over two empty graves]
Bella: [in tears] Why?! I loved him! I’m going to cut myself! I can’t be alone! I just cant!
Buffy: He was a b*****d. But. . .
[Bella has a spaze attack]
[Jacob is in the far distance. He is running to the two women.]
Jacob: Bella! Don’t worry! I’ll protect you-!
[Jacob trips and falls into an open grave]
Buffy: Did you hear something?
Bella: No. . .
Buffy: What now?
[Bella wipes eyes]
Bella: I guess this means that Edward was too week. Sure he sparkled in the sunlight, but his glitter-skin was not match for the sun. . . What I need is a strong, hot man who will protect me properly!
Buffy: That wolf-kid?
Bella: Jacob? Ah hell nah.
Buffy: [confused] Then who?
[Bella grins]
Bella: SPOCK! [swoons]
-FIN-
