The Story of the Metal Head and the Christmas Lights
A True Story Told To Enlighten The Hearts Of Others Through One's Suffering...
Once there was a normal, metal lovin dude that didnt like to do work for a fat man. That fat man was his father and he always made him do things around the house so he would be able to watch tv and drink beer. Well, one day that fat man was specifically told by his wife to put up the christmas lights, so as being the fat man, he yells violently at his unsuspecting son to put up the lights. Being the dude as he was, he listens to him and begins to put up the lights...
Standing on the tall ladder while working on the lights, his little brother holding the ladder from below so that it didnt move, the metal lovin dude worked diligently. However, when the ice cream truck made his run around the neighborhood, his little brother ran away feverishly to get icecream, leaving the ladder unattended...
Not noticing his brother gone, he leans slightly to the right to put in a staple, but with no one to hold the ladder, he begins to lose balance. And with no focus of what he was doing, swinging his hands desperately to restore equilibrium... *KRRCHNK!!!* ... he staples his left hand. "GAHHH!!!!" he yells as he feels the hard metal spliced into his hand. Still on the ladder, he forcefully tries to pull the staple out of his hand... "SON OF A B%#@%!!!" he thinks since he's not very good at yelling. That did leave him bleeding and of course there was no one there to help him, so he continued working...
Soon enough, he was done and ready to test the lights to see if they were all working. Right when he was ready to plug in the lights, he realized that he put the entire circuit backwards, and the extension cord that he was using would never reach the outlet because it was too short. So, now frustrated and tired of doin work, he begins to pull down the lights carelessly while on the ladder. The lights were fallin off easily when he tugged, but then he reached one that was stubborn. This staple really didnt want to budge. Knowing that he had the strength to overpower the puny staple, he pulls harshly on the cord. However, since the staple had already been loosened from the previous tugs, it pops out easily, but with all the force he put onto the pull, he lost balance ontop of the ladder. As he was wabbling on the ladder, he looked down to see the plants that his mother has been growing, and right below was a humongous rose bush.
Now he was freaking out but he had no where to go, he was falling till finally... *SMACK!!" ... he fell right ontop of it, his back fallen first onto the plant. "FU#$@#$!!!!" he thought again as he hit, now laying there in the bush. Slowly getting up, he painfully feels the sharp razors unhitch off his back and slowly he limps away...
"Screw this" he says as he walks over to the park to sit down. Now rested, he sees his father walk outside with a red face cuz he was furious. Luckily for the metal head, his father didnt see him off in the distance, so the fat man was forced by his wife to finish the job...
So there ya go, hopefully you found some humor from that and dont worry, i have enough bandaids to keep myself from spouting my kool-aid. wink
