Well, yes, since you’re asking and all, this entry is about guys.... but mostly the hardships and losses that they are currently causing at this very moment with the constant battles taking place within my thoughts. guy #1.... I know I'm stupid for this one, but I do still like Ian, despite Jason's warning.... he is so cute when he doesn't try to be and his presents is often alluring in ways that I can't quite explain. I also want him because Shelby wants him... , but only long enough to scare her away from him, and leave him alone after she is gone. I suppose this is rather brutal, but that's the best way that I can explain what I want with Ian... I want all the temporary things.... but that is not like a Christian... and so that is not the one that I will choose in the end. #2 guy, is Anthony. I like him.... and I have this cutting feeling whenever I see him with another girl, but I know that what I feel for him is not in any way the love that I should if we were meant to be. He is not mine, but still he has stayed behind from his move to go to youth group, and to see me. Perhaps what he feels for me is real, but what I feel for him in return is again, nothing but a small-time lie that some use to replace the hole in our heart that longs for love. Someone that I know that I do love though, is guy #3, Andrew. I long for his hand within mine like it was so long ago when I wasn't confused; when I knew for sure that I liked him. I questioned, and I might have messed it up between us, but I love him still and I know now, and as I hope I can always know.
gurgenshnogal Community Member 
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