Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again
---------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
umm.... 1 1/2. Buy him a stress ball
2. Laugh at him.
3. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
4. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'
5. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
6. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
7. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
8. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'
9. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
10. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
11. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there....
12. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
13. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
14. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
15. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways.'
16. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!
17. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
18. Politely exclaim now and again that you don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.
19. Tell him you know this great therapist in London....
20. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
21. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'
22. Ask him where he gets his garlic-scented soap.
23. Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!!"
24. Bake him scar shaped cookies, but insist it wasn't purposeful.
25. Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.
26. Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.
-Cathy ^^
 Aria di Bellezza · Sun May 03, 2009 @ 06:06pm · 0 Comments |
