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I’m Ghost. Since I prefer typing over writing, I decided to make this digital journal to release my feelings. No pictures of me are available. I don’t want the world to see me because I don’t think they would understand. When everything is made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

Intro
My name is Faris. I am a Ghost. Born Malay, I have a lot of different race blood in me. There’s Pakistan, Indian, Malay, Indonesian and maybe even Iban. Oh yeah, there’s Chinese and Korean too. Not sure about Japanese though. I don’t think I have Japanese blood. I was born on 1993, May 24th in Kuching. I have a blood problem called Haemophilia which is caused by low platelets. Though it is inherited, I don’t complain about it. The good thing is, I am a male so my children won’t inherit it unlike my sisters if I will have any. I lived in Miri for about 6 years and then moved to Kuching. I am a child who had little affection from his parents and other people. Maybe it’s because I have 3 younger siblings, one boy and two girls and I am the eldest one. Anyways, I am used to it now. I am trying to win their affection but if I can’t, who cares. I have a lot of marks on my body which I don’t know where did they come from. People see me as tall for my age.

Debating is my passion

Like the title, I love debating. It’s easily one of my top favourite things to do. It has brought me so many benefits. Although people says it is a total waste of time, it’s not. Those people are just too narrow minded or stupid. I mean it.

Debating has brought me much joy. It totally changed me, especially my last debate competition which was on 20th until 24th of April, the Swinburne World Debating Championship 2009. I wish I could travel back time to those delightful days.

So, what’s so special about SWDC 2009? Let me tell you what…First of all, it’s a competition in which a lot of schools participate in. That means there are going to be many people. When there’s many people, you will have rivals. But more importantly, where there’s many people, there’s many friends.

I have a confession to make. I used to be very…anti-social before SWDC 2009. I had no friends ever since I was 6. It’s been 10 years since I started fighting the whole world alone. A week before the competition, I made my first friend in 10 years. She’s my best friend and the one who I am in love with. Though, she merely see me as a friend. It’s depressing.

Back to SWDC, it opened me up when I started meeting new people who I wanted to be friends with. I had fun when I was with my friend, Joanne. I wondered whether if having more friends would bring me more joy and it did. I befriended a lot of people. First the Thomians, then the Marians and the Tunkus. I soon had a network of friends who share my joy. I’m reborn as a new and improved person. Since I had been alone for 10 years due to my former so called friend who hurt me from the inside, I am mature enough to know who I should and shouldn’t be hanging out with.

Debate has also allowed me to be more keen. I now think about things no little kids my age would. Studying about United Nations, European Union, latest news, human rights and the likes had given me a better view of the world. Therefore, debaters have an advantage when it comes to being lawyers or debating against people why we should win.

Debating doesn’t involve you to be in a place where only two people talk or one people try to impress oneself. Debating involves a crowd. The minimum is probably 6 people. It could help with overcoming nervousness and shyness.

Furthermore, debating helps us to master the language because the motions they give are so damn weird like for example ecotourism and utilitarian. Need I say more?

Friends

Friends are important to me. Yeah, even though I just opened up, I value friends a lot. That’s because I know their worth. I even came up with a poem.

I built walls around me,
To keep them out,
To protect myself from their stabs,
But my walls kept me in the dark,
Blinded me and squeezed me,
And finally my barriers fell on me.

Then they came,
To offer their aid,
They call themselves friends,
I knew exactly who they are,
The ones whom I needed to defend myself against,
The ones who I built walls for.

Weak and frail with my head in the mud,
They helped me up without my permission,
Carried me and washed me,
Calmed me and entertained me,
Kept me and guided me,
I finally broke from my hypnotic blindness,
I finally came into the light.

Now I am free without walls restricting me,
With friends along my sides,
We face the corrupting world together,
Shared our misery and suffering,
And also our joy and happiness,
Finally I realize what friends really are.

If you can’t get what I am trying to say, feel free to inform me. I would be glad to explain. Who knows, I might be your friend. ^_^

Stories

Where would you rather be in? Fantasy or reality? As for me, I would choose fantasy. That’s why I write novels. I wrote a lot of novels. I lost some. Most of them are fiction. A few are about monsters and human war. Boys, they can’t resist seeing man and monster battles. I love fiction. Have I ever wrote an investigation story? Yes. Action? Non-fiction? I said most of them are fiction so the rests have to be non-fiction. Love? Yes. Erotica? Hell no. If any of you want me to write a story about you, just ask. Give me something to work on though.

My sadness and worries

Cedric, my debate teacher and friend is leaving this month to study in Kuala Lumpur. Every time I remember this, my heart breaks like a fragile glass.