Hector- mysterious, unique, different, quiet.
Victor- funny, cheerful, happy, special
There is something wrong...
I feel it in me...
ever since Hector has been gone... I've been listening to the song "Decode" ...it's his song...
ever since Victor has been gone... I can't stop feeling numb...
I don't want to lose them both...
Hector- kidnapped
Victor-suicide
tomorrow is a new day... maybe I'll hear from one of them tomorrow...
the next day ( 5/1/09 )
still nothing..........................
still fear...............................
still sorrow...........................
I didn't see or hear from either....
so many thoughts
"PICK ONE!"
"do you have a choice?"
"I need to see them"
"aren't you over-reacting?"
...................................
"what if I was???"
"that still doesn't solve anything."
*staring at nothing.*
"what is nothing?"
"Isn't it always light and dark? ... yes or no?"
"I can't think straight......"
*screams I HATE THIS!*
*stares to nothing.*
"thoughts everywhere."
"WHY DO I GET CUTS WHEN I SLEEP!?"
"Victor knows......"
"... he never told me."
"death."
"death??? who's death? his death, my death?"
"death."
"more thoughts"
"why am I so attracted to Hector???"
"inspiration... you admire him... you want to be like him..."
"I do?"
"...why am I friends with Victor?"
*silence*
"friends forever..."
*silence*
"why is Hector so... unique to me???"
"maybe it's not to you..."
"Is it to Aura???"
*silence*
one word: death.
"wait a little longer"
5/2/09 one phone call
"hello?"
"I'm back!"
"VICTOR YOU'RE BACK! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD AND I'M SO HAPPY YOUR ALIVE! HOW ARE YOU WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? YOU NEVER ANSWERED ME! AND-"
"I was in darkness..."
"...I'm just happy you are alive."
"I almost killed myself on Tuesday"
I wanted to ask how and why but I didn't... "you didn't tell me...why do I have cuts?"
" *sigh* because............................ there used to be ____, 3 were emo... before they died. they ____ ______ ____ cuts __ ___ _____ __.each cut determines... how much longer you live. one cut usually represents _ years, months, days. the cuts start somewhat around the elbow and travel to the heart. however, just because you have cuts doesn't make it positive that I'll die, they could be playing with you..............." (I blocked out a few of his words because I don't feel like I should share them)
"wow. shocking... so I'm going to die soon?"
"depends on how many cuts you have" his voice still cheerful...he knew this would happen
"how do you know this?"
"long story." his cheerful voice became serious
"are you sure about this?"
"almost positive. It depends on weather or not you believe me or not..."
"I don't know if I should believe you"
"remember I told you, that you probably wouldn't?" his question echoed
"yes... I remember. I just don't know what to think."
"look, I have to go... think this over okay?"
"okay bye."
i forgot one question "am I the one physically hurting myself?, in other words does the _____ that was emo enter through my body causing me to hurt myself?"
I still miss Hector...
"don't worry, wait a little longer."
View User's Journal
where my all my posibilities are on a page
this "journal" is a place where i say things that can and can't have reasons. btw try not to compare me with anything in comments.
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