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And when you wanted love, I bled myself again.
Now that I've had my fill of you
I'll give you up forever.
And here I go, far away
I know you'll find another slave....

Those words were jabbing at me all night and day.....'
Willing to just give up...
Alot of things were running around in my head, but this morning I actually used my brain for once. Thank the warmth from a cup of peppermint tea. heh...

I did something horrible, to someone very special.
What was it?
My mind is a wacky place but confusing because I forget people aren't mind readers. And my short term memory isn't a money maker. I'd hate to know what it looks like in an X-Ray...
Forgetting, that just because you think what is going on, doesn't mean they realize it.
I'm like Pinky from Pinky and The Brain...I swear it...

Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking...I mean, what would the children look like? surprised

One thing is going on in my noodle...working up an F'N conspiracy....making matters worse.
I had in my head that I wasn't getting enough from a friend. That I gave my all but they didn't and claimed they already gave what they could and maybe more. But I still felt like I was giving 180% and they weren't anywhere near that number.

Deep in me, not really realizing what I was doing, I think I wanted this person to give what I was and that's not bloody possible. I felt like I was on strings and this person was controlling me. But I wanted us to be equal I think...yes...I wanted this person on strings too so we could live happily ever after, being slaves for each other. Omg...that's wrong...

You see, they didn't put me on strings, I put myself on them. And I didn't see that til today...
Hell, that person would hit me with a car before they'd be put on strings... sweatdrop
You can't change people and nor mold a person into how you want them to be or feel. I should know better, even if I didn't notice what I was doing redface

The solution to my troubles:
Find and Kill Bill??? ninja
No no....

Giving less would be right yet silly. I want to say stop being me, but that's an excuse. Yah, its that but I got some deeper feelings going on that maybe don't need to be there. They keep popping up and making things worse for myself and certain people.
So I need to clean my brain out for the 3rd time....
Fall cleaning....*gets a broom*

But before I do all of that, I need to get on my hands and knees, begging this person, if they can, forgive me for being a selfish moomba for brains. I want to forgive and forget, but since I'm to mostly blame, ehh...I just hope they don't hold something against me....well if so, hopefully not forever...
*sighs and slips in my corner*

This was my first entry.
Lets up the next ones aren't this crazy ._.