19 Year-Long Secret
i am stunned. i cried. my face litterally erupted with tears, i'll get my sister to testify to that later, i'll quote her. i was alking with her about something else, and she had mentioned that dad ... tells her all the time that he is SO proud of me. ... he's never told me that. i don't know how many of you have heard me rant about it when he gets all angry and starts yelling about how we're all lazy shits and spoiled brats who don't do anything, if even one thing gets missed, no matter how many other chores we have done... but... he's never told me that he is proud of me, only what i havn't done right. all my life it's been this way. but i hear shanti tell me this. i stopped breathing at first. she got scared, she saw the look on my face, and then i fell to my knees and curled up, i cried 19 years of pain, 19 years of thinking i'm never going to be good enough, and just broke straight down... i'm going to talk to him about it soon...
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