Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Your browser has JavaScript disabled. Enable JavaScript on your browser for most GaiaOnline features to work correctly.

View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal

Ryosha's Ramblings

	Another Poem
	Another Poem


Shadow You, my shifty companion Are the other side of me You are my reflection when There is no mirror You are my echo when There is no sound I cannot smell you To taste would say nothing For you are always changing Your texture, your color, It hardly stays the same Dawn thinks you're squat June's light shows you stretched and long You're a scared little thing Hiding from a storm's thundering You're a dreamer, though Sometimes fading into another world But you can also be brave Boldly strutting your stuff, Defying the very sun overhead But ib any state In mood You are just right, however you are For you, my shifty companion Are the other side of me Ryosha24 · Mon Nov 14, 2005 @ 12:05am · 5 Comments


Ryosha24 Community Member «Prev \| Next» Archive \| Home [03/28/07 11:05pm] [03/27/07 12:59am] [03/11/07 03:57pm] [02/26/07 01:53am] [02/14/07 08:01pm] [02/14/07 12:56am] [02/10/07 03:05am] [12/08/06 02:15am] [12/16/05 04:08pm] [12/04/05 12:49am]

	User Comments: [5]
	User Comments: [5]


	Very cool! i like to write, but my poems are not so happy or relate to anything good... most are break-up poems or simply sad poems.. keep it up, ur a great writer! Offline grimreaper5656 · Community Member · Mon Nov 14, 2005 @ 12:19am


	I like it. It is very good and descriptive. You are a WAY better poet I am Offline Mesuinuma · Community Member · Wed Nov 16, 2005 @ 03:42am


	I like this. It's a wonderful concept, but I've seen your writing style change (and in my opinion, improve) over time. I suggest taking some phrases and rewriting them because they don't really fit with the image you're giving off. You used some slang that took away from the entire poem, and made it seem off, but that was minimal. Overall, excellent job, darling. Keep up the good work. ~Hikari_K Offline Hikari_K · Community Member · Sat Feb 10, 2007 @ 02:30am


	which phrase need improving and where have I used detracting slang? question Offline Ryosha24 · Community Member · Sat Feb 10, 2007 @ 02:36am


	Oh, you mean I actually have to explain? sigh You people expect so much of me... Quote: You, my shifty companion Are the other side of me You are my reflection when There is no mirror You are my echo when There is no sound I cannot smell you To taste would say nothing For you are always changing Your texture, your color, It hardly stays the same Dawn thinks you're squat June's light shows you stretched and long You're a scared little thing Hiding from a storm's thundering You're a dreamer, though Sometimes fading into another world But you can also be brave Boldly strutting your stuff, Defying the very sun overhead But ib any state In mood You are just right, however you are For you, my shifty companion Are the other side of me Alright, the first two red is slang and I think you should change it. The third is simply a typo, methinks. ~Hikari_K Offline Hikari_K · Community Member · Sat Feb 10, 2007 @ 02:47am

	User Comments: [5]
	User Comments: [5]

Offline

There's Magic all Around

More Information

© Copyright 2003 - 2025 Gaia Interactive, Inc. All Rights Reserved.