It's funny how you can be so easily led to believe in something that you know is impossible.
I know all about that. Friendships are wates...relationships always end...life always ends. And yet you always try to believe that everything will work out in the end. But it never does, and it never will.
My life is such a wreck. I try and believe every morning when I wake up...that maybe....just maybe...I won't want to kill myself today.
Do you know how addicted I am on writing in this ******** journal?
It's because I have no friends to talk to...what so ever.
I mean I know people...but I guess they just got tired of asking me if I was okay...
I don't blame them.
Some days I'm happy (Which is a lie...even to myself....I'm only happy on those days because I think that everyone is annoyed at seeing me sad...) And then other days...I'm a lunitic with a very strong urge to kill myself so I'm not in anyone's way anymore.
I guess that I've just come to learn that there's no point in loving yourself or anyone around you for that matter. Because they always go away....
That girl I talked about earlier...Well I guess I was wrong. She won't talk to me now.
My heart hurts...and yet I feel so numb.
It's times like this when I just want to watch the blood come out again. I makes the pain go away....but I promised I wouldn't.
And even though that person is out of my life....I still feel like I need to keep the promise.
I guess I'll write something tomarrow.....
Since I'm not breaking any promises anytime soon.
 Inarie · Sun Mar 15, 2009 @ 04:17am · 0 Comments |
