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Angel's Scriptures
This is for me to write anything I want in. I'm going to post some writing I have done and write in more when I feel like it. You don't have to read it, but you might find something of intrest. Just one thing: DON'T STEAL!
Crystal Droplets
Crystal droplets
Of moonlight
Fall cold and harsh.

Drumbeats sounding
Their rythm,
On the ground.

Thrown, bouncing,
Up and around,
Dancing low to the blackness.

The glass shatters,
Explodes
Fractures into many.

The sparkling fragments
Drift slowly
Back to the surface.

And the crystal droplets
Of moonlight,
Continue downwards.

Okay. It needs a better ending. And the whole thing's terrible, but, gimme a break, I only just wrote it.






User Comments: [1] [add]
lil_lady_em
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sun Jan 02, 2005 @ 12:03pm
i like this poem but i feelit has few flaws. i think it varys too much. dont get me wrong i like varyiation but i think in this peice it may clash.
thie first two lines portray it as a artistic gentle beautiful thing. the third line it cold and harsh. i think it is a sudden change possibly too early in the poem.
then in the second and third stanza, it goes back to the beauty of the rain.
in the 4th it comes to a very harsh portrayal which would be good if it carryed on but insted it just drifts back to a getle thing... i like the ending it is continous and gives a never ending feel.
luv em heart


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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