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I just can't get him out of my mind. I don't want to think of him, but he's always there. I dreamed of him last night - it wasn't a good thing. He walked away from a burning building as I sat in my car. He looked right at my eyes and I could feel them tearing at my soul. I woke today and felt awful from thinking of him. Everywhere I have gone today, I see him in my mind. I drove by my (our) college, by a restaurant we ate at, a couple stores we went to, the mall - I saw every second we spent together and loathed it all. I know I will see him again unless one of us dies (just because we live in the same town and have to go to the same places). I don't want this - I don't want this at all. It's more mental than anything. He hasn't done anything to make me think of him (like trying to contact me). It's just me. Though I can avoid him, I cannot avoid myself and thereby, I cannot keep him away from my mind. I really was so depressed most of this day I wanted to die. No, I'm not suicidal, but I did want to kill myself today. I can't take back what I've done and I live in fear of seeing him again. I wish he would move far away. Then the memories wouldn't be as frequent or haunting.