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6:40 PM Ally: you there?
6:41 PM me: hola.
Ally: ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow
me: you alright?
Ally: NO
me: what happene dthen/
6:42 PM Ally: cyst. must. be .... twisting. OW
s**t.
On a better note, made it into the talent show
me: that is good. ^_^
what will your act be?
Ally: singing
me: yay! ^.^
6:43 PM Ally: ya. yay
me: oh come on, be cheerfull! XD
Ally: PAIN
6:44 PM me: i don;t have the capacity for pain right now, i need happiness.
6:45 PM you awake there?
Ally: awake
awake
pain leaving in 1/2 hour or so
6:46 PM Took viciden
me: k...
Ally: I am singing something you won't like.
so don't ask.
6:47 PM me: sighs. so you think...
surely if it something against me i will be glad.
Ally: 'Leave the Pieces'
me: never heard of it.
Ally: Look it up.
6:48 PM me: k will do.
Ally: now?
6:49 PM me: oh.. right, sorry.
one sec.
6:50 PM Ally: kk
me: smiles. .. heh...
perfect. ^_^
6:51 PM Ally: I'm REALLY good at it
SH my dad's home. SH
6:52 PM me: one sec, my brother DEMANDS the ******** that i watch a 30 second video...
6:53 PM back..
Ally: -.-
6:54 PM me: sorry...
look, i woke up only 3 hours ago, at 4:40.
i had a nightmare, then spoke to my general about an intelligence report i sent.
6:55 PM Ally: -.-
me: hey, cheer up please?
i don't wanna see a sad face right now.
6:56 PM Ally: ok
me: there gonna be backround music when you sing?
6:57 PM Ally: i hope o.o
me: heheh... >w<


9 minutes

7:06 PM me: hola?
7:07 PM Ally: sorry.
>.< laptop
me: it's alright.
Ally: it died
It'll die agian
when it does, I'm takin the battery out. XD
me: ugh...
Ally: and runnin it on power chord
we're experimentint
*g
7:08 PM me: can you not us ethe word die please?
Ally: o.o die die die die die die die! D=< you piss me off too much.
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AllyThese messages were sent while you were offline. 7:08 PM Ally: Yeesh. -.- 7:0...
Apr 24

AllyLoading...Apr 24

Ally to me
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These messages were sent while you were offline.


7:08 PM Ally: Yeesh. -.-
7:09 PM Whenever you get on or whatever, I'm sorry. -.- I'm just really cranky. IF you were to ever talk to anyone of my friends, you could ask. They'd freak out on you. I got really really cranky today, slapped a lot of people, and screamed, cussed, ranted and raved. -.-
7:11 PM This is one of the worst attitudes I've ever had. I'm really sorry. sad
7:12 PM Might be from being in pain all day, stress, and who knows what else. -.-
Why are you so touchy about the 'd' word? yeeeesh
7:13 PM I know you're gonna commit suicide at one point, but good LORD
7:15 PM :'( god. I feel horrible now
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zack halli will never commit suicide dear. have you had enough? i will not appologize ...
Apr 24

zack hallLoading...Apr 24

zack hall to Ally
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i will never commit suicide dear. have you had enough? i will not appologize for leaving like that. but i understand... the reason i am touchy today about that word is because of a couple things. number one and most important, i dreamed my cat died. second, i then woke up to the phone, and had to talk to my general about an intelligence report which included the death of a soldier. one who wasn't even supposed to be in the fighting! ok? so yeah, i'm a little touchy right now. nobody wants to wake up to that!
- Show quoted text -



On Thu, Apr 24, 2008 at 8:08 PM, Ally <aliceisreal@gmail.com> wrote:



These messages were sent while you were offline.


8:08 PM Ally: Yeesh. -.-
8:09 PM Whenever you get on or whatever, I'm sorry. -.- I'm just really cranky. IF you were to ever talk to anyone of my friends, you could ask. They'd freak out on you. I got really really cranky today, slapped a lot of people, and screamed, cussed, ranted and raved. -.-
8:11 PM This is one of the worst attitudes I've ever had. I'm really sorry. sad
8:12 PM Might be from being in pain all day, stress, and who knows what else. -.-
Why are you so touchy about the 'd' word? yeeeesh
8:13 PM I know you're gonna commit suicide at one point, but good LORD
8:15 PM :'( god. I feel horrible now


Reply Forward


Ally7:30 PM me: read the mail i sent... 7:31 PM Ally: loading.. me: k. Ally: -.- ...
Apr 24

AllyLoading...Apr 24

Ally to me
show details Apr 24 Reply


7:30 PM me: read the mail i sent...
7:31 PM Ally: loading..
me: k.
Ally: -.- I'm sorry
7:32 PM me: nods. ... no need to appologize, you explained..
i'll accept it though anyway i guess.
Ally: sad
me: hey, don't worry. ^_^
hugs you and pets your hair.
7:33 PM i overreacted, it's no big deal.
Ally: k. -hugs back-
7:34 PM me: kisses the top of your head. you gonna be alright?
Ally: Yeah. viciden kicked in
7:35 PM me: that's good... i guess...
Ally: I'm sorry. I was in so much pain.
on a scale of one to ten it was a 9
me: i know, it's fine.
7:36 PM Ally: -kisses your cheek-
I'm still partially your's
7:37 PM me: i'll do everything i can to make you happy as i can.
Ally: But understand, I am also Noah's.
7:38 PM me: nods.
Ally: My plan for my life is currently, graduate high school, have a car and money, and drive to TN to live with him.
Oh my god. o.o I told my parents about Hiebert
me: who?
Ally: Where's that journal they wanted me to start. I have an entry..
me: oh righT!
Ally: Remember, the teacher that hits on me?
7:39 PM me: yeah.
Ally: He's moved onto touching me. -.-
me: WHAT TEH HELL!
WHERE IS HE I"LL KILL HIM!
i have resources, and i don't need much to get him.
Ally: I'm guessing at home/on his way home.
7:40 PM I want him GONE D=<
me: he'll het a just reward... >.>
count on it. i'll contact the naval base.
Ally: ? o.o
7:41 PM me: hm?
sorry...
i, um... enlisted... iii-_-
Ally: D=< BAD
IDIOT
me: i barely had a choice D:
Ally: GRRRRRRRR!
UGH
7:42 PM The stupidest thing you could EVER do!
ENLIST
me: i know!
i know... T~T
i don't want to be in this..
it could be worse...
7:43 PM Ally: -.-
NEW SUBJECT
before I get real cranky
me: i could have been that guy that got bumped into the front lines.
Ally: (er)
me: sorry...
Ally: lol.
What am I to you? hm?
me: a friend i care about, and want to make happy.
7:44 PM even if i can't realy..
one i am constantly tempted to just turn into prey.....


6 minutes

7:51 PM me: hey, you ok?
Ally: Yeah. -.-
Laptop died
what were you gonna say?
me: i said you are a friend i love and care about, one who i want to make happy.
7:52 PM Ally: =/ got bumped way down huh?
me: you were never bumped. i always was attracte dto you.
7:53 PM i still wanted you, and i still do.
Ally: oh.
7:54 PM me: are you ok?
i didn't mean to hurt you if i did..
Ally: =/ nothing you can do to change it.
7:55 PM me: yeah... iii-_- i know...
Ally: 6.6 yeah...
me: what do yo think will happen living with noah
?
7:56 PM Ally: uhm.
9.9 Probably might marry him.
6.6
me: beyond that i mean.
Ally: ?
me: what do you think it will be like?
7:57 PM Ally: Oh. Quiet
me: ...i see..
7:58 PM Ally: ???
me: sorry...
just thoughts.
Ally: I think it'll be nice...
me: ^_^ that is good then.
7:59 PM what if i said i don't think that it will be like that?
8:00 PM Ally: ?
(oh, and he's nine years, three months, and six days older than me xD)
me: WHAT!?
Ally: >.>
me: that makes him in his 20's!!
8:01 PM allice, that's dangerous!
if he likes you it's cause he wants your body!
Ally: whatever. -.-
8:02 PM me: not whatever!
allice... sad
Ally: Not like you're any different!!!!!!!! D=<
me: you think so?
Ally: -.-
me: i want your happiness.
Ally: (brb)
me: ..
8:03 PM Ally: (doing homework)
me: don't ignore me now...T~T
he'll probably use you, and throw you away!
Ally: I'm not ignoring you. -.-
i'm doing homework
there's a difference
8:04 PM me: i'm worried now..
and he hates me...
Ally: a large difference
hahahahaa. you're own fault!
*your
me: damnit...he says he hates me...god... i hate HIM!
8:05 PM he's not doing anything for you nessasarilly. i know the tricks that predators use allice.
you shouldn't trust him.
Ally: predators like you?
8:06 PM me: yeah. and those much worse than me.
most don't have the sense of goodness i do.
Ally: This one is better than you.
me: ******** that!
your doing this in anger!
Ally: o.o uh no.
8:07 PM me: this is an adolescent feeling of rebellion against someone who hurt you.
misplaced trust for a false sense of security.
8:08 PM Ally: Allison says:
oh, and you know that guy that you dissed in a comment on my journal? after reading an entry marked as private?
Noah says:
-.- Sorry
Allison says:
Lol. Doesn't bug me much.
Allison says:
But remember him?
Noah says:
Well, you just had to include the "marked as private" part. Yes. I remember him.
Allison says:
Sorry, trying to refresh your memory. XD
Allison says:
He hates you. XD
Noah says:
It's alright. He ain't the only one.
Allison says:
Awh.
Noah says:
Tell him if he wants to do somethin about it, I'll be back stateside for christmas. ^.~
me: .... now see?
8:09 PM you don't wanna hear what i am saying, so you are showing this to me.
8:12 PM hugs you tightly.
8:13 PM please trust me on this...
Ally: no.
I have lost a LOT of trust in you
me: i know, but this is stupid!
Ally: I love him more than I EVER loved you!
8:14 PM me: i only want to make you happy, however i can. i can't let this guy hurt you-
...
come on, you don't relay mean that..
Ally: -.-
I can't be sure on that in all actuallity
8:15 PM me: cause yu are angry, stressed, confused, and very very hurt..
and my freaking out can't be helping i'm sure...
i'm just scare dnow, cause i know how this stuff works.
8:16 PM Ally: -rolls my eyes-
I'm not angry
8:17 PM me: i won't argue that...you are not angry then.
but you get my point, right?
Ally: not confused, nor stressed (over you)
me: i never said it wa sover me.
8:18 PM Ally: lol
me: one sec...
Ally: whatever
8:19 PM me: look, i just need a sec to force myself to laugh.
Ally: O.o
8:20 PM me: can't laugh, can't laugh, freaking out! T~T
sorry..
sorry..
Ally: I love him Zack.
8:21 PM me: i don't trust him...
Ally: You don't trust him because of his age, and because he doesn't like you. Oh, wait, I told him about that, and he says it wasn't like I HATE HIS GUTS FOREVER AND EVER! RAWR!
8:22 PM more like, dissapointed you exist
me: i don't trust him cause of his age and that he is after you.
that combo is a red flag allice.
Ally: After me?
Good god Zack
You don't even know how that all started!
8:23 PM me: as in he wants to be with you.
Ally: He didn't go "Oh, Allison, do you like me?"
no, rather, I confessed my feelings for him.
me: i see...
Ally: Took him a month or more, can't remember now, to return them!
me: well then i am sorry..
all i ever heard wa sthat he is one of several guys who likes you.
8:24 PM Ally: lol
8:25 PM me: ...ok, so i feel very ashamned, but still... at this point i could probably rationalize anything as a red flag anyway...
Ally: -.-
me: i dunno if i CAN realy trust him at all..
and i am sorry..
but i will give leeway not to condemn him right away.
8:26 PM Ally: D=<
if you send anyone after him, I'll hate you for the rest of your soon to be short lifespan!
me: I WON'T!
sheesh..
i was just saying..
8:27 PM i'll let you make your choices regarding him, but i still don't trust him, and IF i see him get to hurting you THEN i will take action.
Ally: -.-
God Zack, You can be a real a** sometimes
me: now you should know that this is alot of trust i am giving out!
how am i an a*****e for it?
8:28 PM Ally: You freaked out!
Like HOLY s**t
me: yes, i did.
Ally: And I told him what you said, and he is PISSED
me: because of your safety.
he can be.
Ally: He has been trying to prepare himself for bein called a predator, and you opened the oven before the cake was cooked! D=<
8:29 PM me: and i understand that.
ok?
Ally: -.-
No. Not ok.
me: gimme a reason i should trust him?
well?
Ally: You seriously crossed the line!
A reason!?
me: yes.
Ally: He promised never to hurt me.
8:30 PM me: words.
useless.
you learned that alreday, rememeber?
Ally: -.-
Well, ******** you, he isn't you.
me: stupid ignorance allice.
Ally: He actually cares
like
more than you do
me: hypocracy.
you think he cares more?
8:31 PM Ally: OH?!
IF YOU EVEN GAVE A ********, YOU WOULDA TOLD ME A LONG ******** TIME AGO NOT TO ******** LIKE YOU! D=<
me: i didn't WANT to care!
8:32 PM you've seen my changes in mood and personality firsthand!
and yes i know peopel get hurt because of this internal battle of mine, but i would tell you about it, explaini t, i told eventualy that i shouldnb't have let it happen!
8:33 PM Ally: -.-
8:34 PM I feel like every ******** word you spoke to me was a ******** lie.
me: whatever then... i have got to get over this.
Ally: then do so
I still love you...
me: i know you do...i'ms orry allice...
8:35 PM i'll admit it... i'm very angry. at life and love andc myself.
Ally: -.-
me: i want to do better and don;t know how.
so help me.
please.
8:36 PM Ally: I was in love with you. -.- Now, I am in love with Noah, and even if he uses me, I won't care.
Oh, and how to better yourself?
Ditch the cult, ditch the slaves, pick a girl, and live a ******** normal ******** life!
living a lie is ******** retarded!
8:37 PM me: i'm not in a cult.
Ally: you said so the other day
me: and i will not ditch my slaves. nothing is wring about them.
Ally: -.-
i could go find it
8:38 PM Oh, but what you DO to them is! D=<
me: i never said i was in a cult allice.
no it is not
Ally: Good god.
you did too
8:39 PM Oh, and YES IT IS!
me: i never do anything to them that they don't want, unless they need punishing. and i am leniant.
Ally: I've been kicking myself for falling in love with you. -.-
me: isn't your fault...
8:40 PM it's just an accident that can be realy ******** horrible...
i know how ya feel. at least as far as that part goes.
Ally: -.-
8:41 PM me: why do you think i treat my slaves badly?
8:42 PM what is so horrible in your mind?
Ally: its not that i think you treat them badly, its that you ******** have them
me: they want to be.
Ally: heh. having fun bein chewed out by a 14 year old?
me: it's a type of relationship in the BDSM lifestyle.
...would anyone be having fun?
8:43 PM not like you are either..
Ally: Well its ******** retarded
me: you don't understand it.
Ally: Oh, I'm havin fun. I'm actually smiling
8:44 PM me: they'd be so hurt if i said i couldn't be their master anymore...
8:45 PM it's happened before... i had a girlfriend who insisted i not have any slaves.
Ally: OH, wow, that's ******** retarded!
me: stop saying that!
these girls are some of my closest friends!
Ally: -.-
8:46 PM Go listen to Stupid MF by MSI. Its what I'm listenin to right now. ^.^
me: i won't.
8:47 PM i'll ask a question instead.
Ally: fine
how about die mf die? that's next
me: what are you trying to accomplish here? do you want me to get angry? to stop caring?
8:48 PM Ally: Oh, no, no
I have no clue in all actuallity. o.o
me: cause yes, i am crying, yes i am getting angry, and it might temporarily have that effect on me of not caring..
8:49 PM this is suppose dto be about MY faults.. not about how stupid it is what my friends like.
Ally: =/
I don't want you to cry.
me: i've been... sorry...
8:50 PM Ally: -.-
me: what can i say, it hurts...
but it was realy under the belt to mention my slaves..
8:51 PM Ally: -.- ever since you mentioned them, I've hated the fact you have any
me: i see...
but please... don't judge the lifestyle if you don't know anything abouut it, and don't have any bad feelinsg toward them.
Ally: (this is funny I skipped die mf die, and went for issues by msi, and its a riot)
8:52 PM -.-
me: cause it isn't fair to them.
Ally: Whatever.
8:53 PM Your lifestyle and their lifestyle is ******** screwy
me: NOT whetevr! this isn't about them!
HEY!
you don't know anything about it!
you can't make these conclusions!
Ally: -.-
From what I have seen, it is.
me: whatever happened to the openminded allice that caught my attention huh?
8:54 PM Ally: I was ever openminded?! WHAT?!
me: this is BS... you arn't the allice i met last year.
Ally: SERIOUSLY?!
-.-
me: you seemed to be such back in sumer.
Ally: I'm sorry
...
........
I.....
8:55 PM was....
... I still am...
me: so what is it then?
Ally: but... I am really cranky
What is what dear?
me: never mind...
8:56 PM Ally: Sorry
me: it's not your fault..
i'm just realy dizzy and lost..
don't know what to feel...
all i know is i can barely se through y tears.
8:57 PM this is the equivalent of lunchtime for me, i have ben awake for 4 hours.


10 minutes

9:07 PM me: allice, please get back on...
i think i'm losing it...i'm scared...
9:10 PM are you there?
oh god, i was frightened as hell!
Ally: laptop died again dear
now
I am still open minded, but just really hurt...
me: i know... and i'm realy... losing it..
9:11 PM i've been awake for 5 hours, and already having a huge fight..
and ... i relay... will not tollerate my friends being dissed, or a lifestyle with it's own subculture being dissed.
9:12 PM especialy one i am part of.
Ally: -.-
me: i trie dthe meat test to see what i am feeling... and i still can't tell..
Ally: ?
me: see, when i am sad i can't eat meet. i look at it and throw up.
9:13 PM and when i am angry i become savage about it and eat meat gluttonously.
...i'm just eating it calmly.
Ally: you're eating meat? wowza
9:14 PM me: i eat a little turkey and chiken now and then...
and alot when i am angry.
9:15 PM Ally: Yum.. chicken...
lol
me: heheh...^_^
Ally: -tickles- cheer up
9:16 PM me: *giggles a bunch.*XD
i'm trying.
Ally: -kisses you-
me: realy i think i went into a mental shock, cause i'm super calm, but- is kissed, and so kisses back suprised,
9:17 PM O.O
o///o wow..
what did i miss?
Ally: lol.
9:18 PM me: heheh..heheheheh..hahahahaha!
Ally: whaaaaat?
me: i'm definately feeling better now!
hugs you and doesn't let go.
Ally: -hugs back, petting your hair-
9:19 PM me: are you still upset though..? anything i can do to make it up?


6 minutes

9:25 PM Ally: look, i'm back
XD
me: hugs you again.
9:26 PM i'm... still confused... as to why you are not angry anymore. and wanna know if i can do anything.
9:27 PM Ally: lol. why am i not angry anymore?
I can't answer that question
o.o
me: ok.
i won't question it then. ^_^
Ally: lol
9:28 PM me: XD
Ally: I don't really know, other than i had a real strong urge to kiss you...
me: well, i am glad you did. ^_^
it's always better to be happy.
Ally: lol true
9:29 PM I hate my sex ed teacher.
-.-
me: ugh, is he...??
Ally: is he what?
horrible at what he teaches? ******** YES
9:30 PM me: i was thinking another pervert, but yeah...
Ally: no
he isn't a perv
me: okies... but he is a terrible teacher nintheless.
Ally: rather a robot when it comes to teaching it
9:31 PM me: oh god.. XP
this is why i think parents should quit being so afraid of talking to their kids about sex..
Ally: lol
me: also why i tink the christian church mad ethinsg worse.
9:32 PM Ally: i didn't wanna learn about guys' parts in such strange not really there detail. XD
me: yeah...
Ally: no pictures, nothing like that, but like, seriously. -.-
Though, I can now make fun of guys. 8D
9:33 PM me: hahaha! XD
Ally: Lol. I can just simply say "Are you having a sudden rush of blood flow?" and they turn red
me: hahah! yeah, that used to appen to me...
my sister would say it though, so it a sway worse...
Ally: lol
9:34 PM me: why am i tired all of a sudden? o_O;
Ally: o.o
who knows?
9:35 PM lol having .. proobbblleeeemss?
me: ...actualy...yeah... i think i realy am...
Ally: o.o''' I was teasing you.. >.>
me: i know... ii-_-
9:36 PM Ally: since we were talking about sex ed... are you serious?!
me: yeah..
just like..
thinking about it from before.
Ally: ?
9:37 PM me: nothing, no worries. ^_^
Ally: lawlz
ok
9:38 PM me: one sec..
Ally: AWH fine. -.-
9:40 PM me: back
Ally: -hugs- welcome back love
9:41 PM me: hugs you as well and pets you. i kiss your forhead.
i think i am getting back into metal music again.
Ally: lol
have fun with that
me: OH!
Ally: I'm getting into alternative stuff, that i can't even title
?
me: i'm gonna be in a rap band! biggrin
9:42 PM Ally: >.< must not laugh must not laugh
me: what...? o.o i'm a good rapper...
Ally: I hate rap with a passion
9:43 PM me: ...oh... sorry...ii-_-
i was gonna write my own stuff, with substance...
Ally: lol
me: heh, it's ok...
i understand, i have a few odd prejeduses about things too..
like bugs.. >.>
9:44 PM Ally: lol
me: heheh...
9:45 PM Ally: -kisses you again-
9:46 PM me: kisses you as well, and lifts you up into my arms.
Ally: whoa
me: heheh... this is familiar..
9:47 PM Ally: ?
9:48 PM me: this happened when you had me make a Gmail in the first place.
Ally: ah.
me: nuzzles you.
Ally: -kisses you yet again-
9:49 PM me: kisses you back, and keeps kissing.
Ally: -wraps my arms around your neck-
9:50 PM me: spins slowly, nuzzling and making out with you.
Ally: ^.^
9:51 PM me: i'm glad you are happy allice. kisses your cheek.
9:52 PM Ally: o.o oh noes.
dad came home
me: sad
and i won't be here this late tommorrow.
Ally: its alright..
me: i'm headed out to goth night at a club.
9:53 PM Ally: lol have fun with that
me: i will. ^_^ kisses you again.
Ally: lol
me: maybe he'll buy me some drinks.