Okay so let me explain some things before I begin. I dont come from a very wealthy family *weve almost been completely homeless before and had to live with my aunt*. Being that the same thing was on the verge of happening again, my dad joined the army. Before my dad left he wasnt my favorite person and my mom was totally the favorite parent but now that hes gone my mom has completely lost her mind in my oppinion. Shes almost constantly lashing out at me and my four year old brother and she is very touchy. Really my only sense of comfort are my friends and family on gaia and my real aunt jessi who is practically my best friend. Ive taken over alot of the things that my dad did when he was here and its not good enough for my mother. Even though she is mean to me every morning I offer to watch the kids (newborn brother too well get to that soon) and she accepts, I am home schooled from a virtual academy and they are upping my work it originated from six classes but now the maximum of nine, and just little things around the house ontop of trying to keep my pigsty of a room clean (now collecting bugs). Its rediculous! Anyway my newborn brother is whats keeping me sane (and this computer) when I am home. I inherited my mothers anger issues and I am afraid that I will get to the point that shes at so I stay in my room so she cant make me upset but she always manages to. MY depression is getting worse it seems by the minute, its getting to the point that cutting is almost an option. I am in my room when Im here (which i try not to be) and if im not here Im at dez and winns school, the library, and mainly my grandma and my aunts place which is my get away. Alot for a 12 year old huh?
Oh and after one of my moms episodes today *i was on the phone with may and wolf, they heard* I wrote this...im not saying its art its just what I felt and I just started typing.
Why am I so broken?
Why am I so cold?
Why am I so dark?
You.
Why am I dead inside?
Why am I dying slowly?
Why am I so angry at the world?
You.
Why do I want to die?
You.
It seems stupid but whatever. I apreciate if you read this.
Nezie out~ </3
XxNezie MayesxX Community Member 
|
|
