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Ok, so the not feeling so bad thing has gone away and now I feel like s**t. I feel really disgusted with myself over the whole Jon incident. I find it repulsive to even think about, but it seems to be a hot topic of discussion with every one else. It's weird cause i don't find jon all that bad, I'm just not attarcted to him AT ALL. He's my friend and thats all he'll ever be. I could have danced with one of the sisterhood for all the physical attraction that there was there. I'm more repulsed with myself than anything, for havin alowd myself to be played like that.

I'm also vaguely starting to remember why I did it in the first place, which disgusts me even more. I remember seeing all the other girls with guys and how there was like a herd of guys around kelsey. I always see the beautiful girls like kelsey or lindz get all these guys that like them, and weather or not they like them back, it'll always be them that catch the guy's attention. Now rational me doesn't care and realizes that initial physical attraction has very little to do with a long lasting and meaning full realationship and I don't even want a relationship, so why should I care. Drunk me however, being quite a bit slower than rational me, thought, 'guy wants to dance? ok!'. and just went with it from there. I'm such a loser.