This is a monolouge i wrote for my drama class this past year.
Umm... I'm sorry if I seem a little nervous about talking to you, but you see... this is my first time talking to a phsychiatrist. You know, I really don't like telling complete strangers what I'm feeling. I mean come on; I just met you like three minutes ago... I guess I have to talk to you though otherwise I'm never going to get out of this hospital.
Okay, let's see... you said to start from the begining. Since that's about where my problem starts I guess that's a good place to start... umm... Elementary school, back then I didn't really notice it because, well, I was little and little kids don't notice things like this very often with their consious mind. I was one of those kids where I noticed it with my subconcious more than my concious mind. Today I relize how muchit affected me... but...I DON'T NEED TO BE IN T HIS PLACE!!.. I just.. had a breakdown... THAT'S ALL!! Just because I tried to kill myself doesn't meanI'm crazy!... people try to tell me that they know how I feel... well they don't! Were you ever the kid playing by yourself during recess?! Were you ever the one who was shut out of conversation because people don't notice you're there? I'm probobly the most invisible person on the planet. I've even had teachers forget that I was there... I hate people... they pretend to be your friends and then they turn on you! Last year... in my history class we were going to do an in class project with a partner and I was going to work with Jenny. And then Heather showed up and Jenny asks me "Can I go work with Heather instead?" It made me feel like I was the last resort for a partner... I got stuck with this guy who I didn't want to work with... people suck.... I can be sitting with two of my friends in the conversation but it's like I'm not even ther. They keep talking and talking and I can never find a place where I can jump into the conversation so I just sit and listen. I also don't talk because I've had too many instances where I would say something and I would get a look like "Why are you here?" or "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard" or I would just be ignored and no one would hear ehat I said. Another time I was showing some of my friends some songs that I really like. One of the guys made a comment about the music and the way his voice sounded was as if he was saying "You suck because your music sucks." That made me start to cry only he didn't know he made me cry because I went and hid from everyone. When the lunch bell rang and we were back in class we were singing happy birthday to someone and I couldn't keep it together. I started crying right there in the middle of the class.... no one seemed to notice. I was just sitting in my desk... crying, and crying, and crying. No one came up to me and aske what was wrong... No one said anything.....
I wish I could be dead... It would just be one less person on the earth. That doesn't matter... No one cares anyway.
Well, that's it. When I preformed this I apparently made a lot of people cry
Soi of the abyss Community Member 
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