Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

EVER WONDER where we are heading...
>
> Why the sun lightens our hair,
> but darkens our skin?
>
> Why women can't put on mascara
> with their mouth closed?
>
>
> Why you don't ever see the headline:
> "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
>
> Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
>
>
> Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
>
>
> Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
>
>
> Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
> while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
>
> Why the man who invests all your money is called a
> Broker?
>
>
> Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
>
> Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
>
>
> Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
>
> Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
>
>
> Why they don't make the whole plane out of the
> material used for the indestructible
> black box?
>
>
> Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
>
> Why they are called apartments when
> they are all stuck together?
>
> If con is the opposite of pro,
> is Congress the opposite of progress?
>
>
> Why they call the airport "the terminal"
> if flying is so safe?
>
> AND...
>
>
> In case you need further proof that the human race is
> doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label
> instructions on consumer goods.
>
>
> On a Myer hairdryer:
> Do not use while sleeping.
> (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>
> On a bag of
> Chips:
> You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
> inside.
> (The shoplifter special?)
>
>
> On a bar of Palmolive soap:
> Directions: Use like regular soap.
> (And that would be how???)
>
>
> On some frozen dinners:
> "Serving suggestion: Defrost.
> (But, it's just a suggestion).
>
>
> On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
> "Do not turn upside down".
> Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> "Product will be hot after heating".
> (And you thought????...)
>
>
> On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
> "Do not iron clothes on body.
> (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
>
>
> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
> "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
> taking this medication.
> (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
> accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
> colds off those forklifts.)
>
> On Nytol Sleep Aid:
> "Warning: May cause
> drowsiness.
> (And I am taking this...because?)
>
>
> On most brands of Christmas lights:
> "For indoor or outdoor use only.
> (As opposed to...what?)
>
>
> On a Japanese food processor:
> "Not to be used for the other use".
> (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
> curious.)
>
>
> On packet of Nobbys'
> Peanuts:-
> "Warning: contains nuts.
> (Talk about a news flash!)
>
>
> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
> (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>
> I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
> this one:
> On a child's superman costume:
> "Wearing of this garment does not enable
> you to fly".
>
>
> On a Swedish chainsaw:
> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
> genitals".
> (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)