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Yah, this is an English assignment of mine, and I thought that I'd share it...It's about the Martha Ostello novel, Wild Geese....
Pressure is the biggest cause for the need of freedom. It makes you feel like Heaven?s too far away for you to ever reach it. You?ll never feel the blissful freedom you dream about at night. The sense of oppression that you feel forces you to bottle up all your hidden desires and store them up into one deep, impossible fantasy. To be able to fly, to be rid of everything that ties you down to Earth, everything that keeps you in the dark, cold sense of reality that the world instils upon you. ?She need to escape, to fly from something?, to be rid of the bleak, soul sucking society that has been created from mans own doings. To fly into the empty blue abyss above might not solve our problems, but it?d let me, and others under pressure escape them.
Living the life given to you takes away the life that you can create on your own. ?Life [is] smothering, overwhelming [me]...? I can?t be everything that everyone wants and expects of me. The pressure, and stress that builds up inside makes me want to scream until my lungs burst and tear out my hair in frustration. Waves of crashing malevolence course through me as I listen to everyone around me speak of how I?m supposed to turn out. Like they know what I want and need, and how my future will be. They can?t just create it for me. They don?t even take the time to listen to what I desire; like hearing me out would change their goals of seeing me ?succeed?. Everyone wants to mould me to the image they see of me in their own minds. ?We want you to have what we never did...? is the key reason they put so much pressure on me, at least that?s what I?m told. Of course it has nothing to do with their failures and shortcomings; no, no, it?s all about me. It?s always about me. Just like in Judith?s case, nothing?s the fault of, let?s say Daddy dearest, it?s all to be blamed on the one trying to change herself, and the broken world around her. Anyways, it doesn?t matter why they feel the need to drive me to the brink of insanity, the effects are still the same. I end up feeling insecure and lost. Not knowing what it is that I truly want, and if anything that I feel is really in my heart, that my opinions are my own, or that it?s something that they?ve effectively drilled into my head, convincing me that that?s what I want. Neither I nor Judith will be able to be like the soft people such as Lind Archer, we?ve been stuck in the lives we?ve been living for too long to metamorphosis again. We?re stuck being the ones who are ?ugly beyond all bearing, and all [our] li[ves] [are]ugly.?
Why is nothing I do ever good enough for them? no matter how hard I try, there?s always something I?ve forgotten to do, or haven?t done good enough. I try to do everything they want me to do, I really do, but there?s always something else. School, siblings, chores, cooking, cleaning, working, money, jobs, parents, friends, boy friends the list never ends. What you think should add to the quality of your life only ends up complicating it even more, overwhelming the mind, and almost breaking the spirit. No matter how hard you try to keep everything good and well with each influence in your life, something always goes wrong, ruining the joy that you could feel. Nothing I ever try to do, no matter how selfless ever works out perfectly. I can never please everyone, it?s not good enough. It will never be good enough, I?ll never be good enough. I want to feel the rebellious freedom that I could claim if I ?never went back into the darkness.?
Unlike Judith who had ?The marvellous confusion and complexity of all the world... single her out from the rest of the Gares? I have been singled out by other flawed and imperfect human beings, they?ve picked me out of the fray to become someone great. No pressure though. Ha! Every move I make is like a little test to see if I?m going to be a failure like everyone else is. Their testing me pushes me farther and farther away. And the farther away I get, the more desperate they get to hold me close to their little plans and expectations. Why are they constantly shoving the same bullshit down my throat? But I guess that I?ve been lying to them too. I don?t want to be want they wish me to be. Why I haven?t just told them no, or at least walked away, why can?t I just run away and never look back, I?ll never know. Just like Judith, there?s always something there, just beyond my sight that holds me in my place, stopping me from cutting all ties to the ones that love me. Is it pity? Maybe it?s fear of what I could become without them holding me back. I guess I?ll never know, it?s far too late to run now.
I never thought that I?d be surrounded by the kind of people that know more about my future, than what?s happening with me in my present. It?s something that should be saved for the sentimental, tear jerking novels. The pressure everyone places on me makes my stomach tighten, and my blood boil. The more pressure I feel, the angrier I get, until I feel ready to explode. If I can?t find release, and soon my mind just may end up shattering into a million tiny fragments that I?ll never be able to collect again. The need of freedom comes from the cage that those closest to me have placed upon my mind. Judith and I could have both just flown away if it wasn?t for the chains clasped to our wings.

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