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well...welcome to my blogs. if you don't already know, my name is Christina Waydeman, but i usually answer to whatever happens to be yelled in my direction. my closer friends call me chrissi...and yes that is how i spell it. only two or three of my friends get away with spelling it chrissy. i don't know why but that just but the heck out of me. so lets start with the basics. i am an only child, who has been sheltered all her life. let's start with an extreme example: i got my first kiss last may. dude that's like almost a year ago exactly! lol...it happened at Disneyland too; very romantic. so i was eighteen at the time. when my parents found out that he had kissed me, they flipped out. oh my god...it's a sin to kiss, any way that's what they said. so about five months later i head off to college, California Baptist University to be exact. we were required to attend chapel about twice a week. it was a required course and if you didn't pass it, well, you might as well pack your bags. the minimum one could do was fifteen chapels. the only reason that i passed is that i was in one of the women's choirs and we performed once for chapel, both services. oh ya...chapel had two services, just in case you missed the first one. then on sunday's, well, you could either be one of the few to sleep in and enjoy the precious moments away from bible thumpers, or you could attend one of the about ten churches in a three mile radius. i opted to disapear on saturday night, so no one would find me and ask that night to go with them, or even try to drag me out of bed on sunday...cuz i was never there! oh ya i was very smooth. i spent most of my time with my now ex-boyfriend Thor. yes that was his name. he had a really girly name that he was ashamed of, so he insisted that i and everyone else called him thor. ya. he was my life from about october to december. those were the most amazing nights...lol. i won't elaborate. but he was my escape in so many ways. he will probably never know. what's funny is how fast he turned to hating me. i was amazed by the sudden turn of events. now i don't have anything against smoking weed...if you do it you'll get a lecture from me, but you know what that is your problem and something that i don't need to deal with. well, i was worried that it was consuming his life. i was right. he told me that it was a lifestyle. i was like that is bull and you know it, and he said that lifestyles cannot be broken. i beg to differ...i was brought up in a christian home. praying over food is a lifestyle. i broke it, it took a while, but i can now eat without the guilt of not having "blessed" the food. so finally i gave him an ultimatum: me or weed. i told him that i would help him decrease his habit...he didn't really have to stop altogether for me to be happy. i just wanted my baby back. but he said that if that was the way i felt, then f me. i was floored. i didn't eat for at least four days straight, my roomie, who i never got along with (bible thumper expert) brought me food, sat up with me though the nights, basically stood by my side so i wouldn't kill myself or do something really dumb. i give her a lot of credit. she put up with a lot of crap from me. well, anyway, my luck with guys...diwndles. either they die, or if i like them i move or they just never talk to me, or whats worse, they drop off the face of the planent and i can never find them again. so ya. i had been thinking about deleting my gaia...but i find that writing is theraputic for me. very cool indeed. so i am tired, it's about four in the morning, and i didn't write about my current situation. well, that is for another day...ha...maybe tonight...lol.
i'll leave you with a question that i can not figure out the answer to.
why are people drug addicts? i mean, ya, the drug controls them...but what about at first...do people do it for the fun of it...the thrill of breaking the law...or to forget their problems...because if it is the latter, i don't understand that. your problems won't go away, they'll still be here when you sober up...but here's something else, it costs a butt load of money! why waste it on something that only last a minute, when you could spent it on music, or movies, or haha, women! lol.
peace homies.
 ashtii26 · Thu May 01, 2008 @ 12:13pm · 0 Comments |
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