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The grass can't always be greener on the other side.
I would think straight people would be pretty content with the color of their grass.
So yeah, Jason Taylor. I wrote about him in a previous entry.
I'm just really confused right now. The only reason I've ever been able to completely shun the thought of living a gay lifestyle is because I've always believed that the only attraction I had for guys was physical. But Jason Taylor...
There's this girl Claire Gerig that likes me. She didn't tell me straight up. I hadn't talked to her for a while until Thursday night. She saw me after school and gave me a hug and was pretty much all over me. I want to date her. But I feel like it will be...dishonest if I date her without actually even being really attracted to her. She's an awesome person and I enjoy her company, but I'm not physically attracted to her. I'd be like a liar, wouldn't I?
My friend Rachel came over today and we were talking about relationships and that sort of thing. I told her about Claire and I said that I was probably going to ask her out. Then, rather randomly, I confided in her my attraction to Jason. Which she didn't find surprising, since she already knows about me. But I kind of started vomiting up all these feelings I had for Jason. It was rather unpleasant.
But Jason is just so perfect. He's really cute, he's funny, he's sweet, he can play the piano like a freaking angel, and he has many musical talents besides that.
This isn't love, and I know that. But the only way I know how to describe this is that I love him.