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Why do I do this to myself.
I had a great day.
I feel really, really good about the SAT
Nailed the essay.
Guessed on maybe one problem.
Then I spent three hours with Kelly on IM.
Best thing I could've done.
She's a million times more awesome now.
Really hope I get to meet her.
But...
Then, I have to go an ruin my day.
I know it's going upset me in some way...
But, I have to. To know he's okay.
To know what the hell he's not telling me.
And...
Everytime there's somethings remotely significant...
I feel left out.
'Cause he never tells me.
He "puts on" a happy face, and says "Haaiiiii!"
Dammit...
I hate it.
I can't stand it.
He's lying to me, or the world.
And, it's pretty much me.
I'm not nearly that important.
But, what is he thinking?
Oh...wait, I'm left to figure that out...
Well...
Let's use some general reasoning...
He could not want to tell me these things because he doesn't care enough to let me know.
He could not want to tell me because he thinks I won't understand.
He could not want to tell me because he thinks I won't care.
any way you can put it...
It hurts.
A lot.
I consider him a friend yet we rarely talk...
I want to help...
No, I HAVE to help.
To have him prevent me from doing that sucks.
A lot.
Especially when we haven't talked for what... four days now?
Gee, thanks.
I would love to confront him about this.
But, that would be the opposite of helping him.
Who knows what it could do...
So, I put it here.
I know of at least two people who read this.
And if you do, comment!
Oh, and he had his birthday recently.
I remembered, but I haven't had a chance to tell him happy birthday. Apparently he had a party.
Thanks again...
But, hey.
Maybe it was a family thing.
I can remain optimistic.