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I hate it here, but sometimes the freezing cold tries to make up for itself. Saturday night (Sunday morning, really), coming back on the frozen, mysteriously unplowed slick called I-25, not being able to feel my hands for at least three months became just a little easier to take.

Before I go any further, you've all seen racing games, right? The ones where you go around the track and try to beat the other guys, and if you turn too wide and hit the wall, your controller just vibrates and you bounce off and keep going? Like, the kind where you should be inoperable or at least trailing bits of car, but you just bounce off and keep going?

You know where this is going now. Nevertheless. 35 on packed snow (slicker than snot, for those of you lucky enough to live places where there is sun) wasn't fast enough for Joe Trustfund and his little Saab. Oh no, he had to go now. Now, I'm not a cop, so I don't know the proper formula to visually clock someone's speed, but I'm going to guess something up around 50 when he slid, didn't turn into it, and bounced right off the concrete retaining wall. And we saw it. It was just like Gran Turismo, but real. A piece of his front bumper rolled right at us. A quick stop to see if everything's okay is out of the question on road like that, but by the time we could have, there was a Saab rolling past us, doing about 50, missing a chunk of bumper. This magnificent b*****d had bounced off the wall and kept going. I don't know how to feel about this, since he failed to learn from his mistake, but it was cool. Like, seriously.

Proof that I take perhaps all the wrong things from tragedy, seeing this was not only kind of a highlight (Dane Cook would envy me), it was job security, because no matter what you're doing or where you are, you're probably going to do something stupid. Maybe even spectacularly so. And that's where I come in. This may not actually be my best driving story, because right now I work in arraignments at the county court, and I hear people telling my boss stories of their traffic cases that are truly works of art. Sometimes, they tell the truth, and sometimes, that's actually worse. I think shortly I'll have to do a year in review with some of the best. It'll still be cold and horrible when I'm done, but it'll be easier to overlook.