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[IC]My time in the knighthood was not what I was hopping it would be. I'm not integrating well and no one really notices that I'm there. I guess that's what one gets being a freaky nobody from nowhere. I don't want to admit it, but perhaps my mother was right. Perhaps I am chasing some fool dream and wasting my time trying to fit into another role when there was a role already for me back home.

I don't want to be a normal housewife and be subservient to some....man. It's so old fashioned, so mundane, so....not for me. I can't stand being cooped up in some backwater village far away from society. I originally set out to broaden my horizons and experience the world, but all I've really been doing is just wandering around from town to town. I don't even know how far I've traveled or where I am. I sat on Ash's back and let him take flight, the two of us going where ever the wind took us.

I don't want to admit it, but I miss home so much; I miss being familiar with people and places, few as they may be. Everywhere I go, I am a stranger, no matter how hard I try to fit in. By fitting in, I do not mean conforming to the social culture and abandoning my identity, though, but perhaps it's because I still think like a small-town villager that came from no where that I am still that way. I do not want to put up a false identity just to fit in, otherwise they will not like me for me.

I'm tired of being an outcast. I'm tired of being just someone from somewhere from someplace no one cares about.