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Have you ever had the feeling~

~that your lost
having no sense of your life
rather go through it in routine?
like your falling too fast
to recognize who or what went past you just now?
confused as to what went wrong just now?
a hole filling your heart and lungs
as you desperatly scrabble to find
his/her hand reaching out to help you?

~that youre being blamed
for that which you never did?
finding yourself tangled in
questions still unanswered?
struggling to breathe beneath
its heavy weight?

~that no one will help you?
as you cry yourself, rocking gently,
to a sleep where peace never goes?
like that dream you held dear
never even existed beneath you brains
twisted dark thoughts?

dearest friends;
im feeling like that now.
and i still have no answers
and still i have no one to cry to.
im sorry to those dreams that i have
ruthlessly abolished. and im so sorry that
i have too many of you worried about
me now to care about what i say
i just want to let all of you
know that i love you