Alone. You’re all alone. Freak. That’s what you are. They don’t want you. No one wants you. Cursed. You’re cursed. Just look at your hair, and your eyes. Not to mention your skin. How disgusting. You’re different… Too different. You’ll never fit in. Why do you bother cursing this world with your presence? You mean nothing to anyone. You’re all alone. Alone… Alone… SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU’RE WRONG! YOU’RE ALL WRONG! Are you so sure? If so, prove it. I will!! I’ll show all of you! You’re wrong! You’re wrong…
“Jazz? Jaaaaazz? JESSICA! Are you even listening to me? Answer me! I asked you a crucial question!”
“Huh? Uhhh… what?” A startled Jessica replied, her head snapping out of her palm as she came out of reverie. “Ouch! Oh sorry Sam. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.” She looked apologetically at her friend as she proceeded to rub her sore neck.
“Uhuh. I figured as much.” Sam sighed, shaking her head, “Anyways, would you like me to repeat the question?”
“Yeah, sure! That would be great.” A relieved Jessica removed herself from the seat by the window and plopped down on the bed next to her best friend, so as to give her whole attention with no distractions. Not that a rainy window was that distracting. Sam sighed and shook her head. Jessica turned to her and waited, a bit cautious, for Sam’s “oh so crucial” question.
“Mk. who do you think I should go out with next? Johnny or Mathew?”
“Ugh! Not this again! Didn’t you just break up with that one jerk face?”
“Yes, I did, but that’s all over. Now answer my question! Pleeeaaaase.” Sam pouted. Jessica sighed, and despite her dislike of the subject of boys, she decided to cooperate.
“hmmm… let’s see. Which one do you like more?”
“Jessica, Jessica,” Sam replied, shaking her head, almost as if she knew this was coming, “when will you ever learn that it’s not about who you ‘like’ the most. What matters is who will make me look better. So in answer to your question, I don’t really ‘like’ either of them. They just both happen to ask me out is all. I mean, geez, Jazz, if you continue thinking like that, you’ll never get a boyfriend! That’s probably why you’ve never had one before eith…” Jessica flashed her a dark look that spoke for itself. She then looked quickly away towards the dark rainy window, trying hard to get over her sudden urge of painful memories. Sam knew why Jessica had never had a boyfriend before. Or even any other friends at that. It had nothing to do with the way Jessica was on the inside… Nothing at all.
“Ok. Umm… which one do you think has the better personality?” Jessica managed to continue, already forgiving and forgetting Sam’s slip up.
Sam relaxed, and let out the air she had been holding in before.
“If by ‘better’ you mean more tolerable, then I’d say maybe Mathew. Even though he is demanding and he does flirt with all sorts of girls all the time, and he also has problems with keeping promises and commitments, not to mention his bad breathe and the fact that he’s a wimp of a jock, he is kind of funny at times. Although so is Johnny. And at least Johnny can keep promises, and he knows dress. I mean, clothes and Mathew… well, they don’t get along very well… to put it gently, he always looks like he got dressed in the middle of a hurricane with no mirror and maybe even with a blindfold on.” Sam grimaced thinking about it.
“Yeah,” Jessica laughed, “Cuz that was sooo gently.”
“Shut up!” Sam scowled. She pushed Jessica off the bed onto the wooden floor, but it was clear she was trying hard not to laugh along. Jessica pulled her pillow out from under her, and proceeded to laugh into it, while picturing a confused and disoriented Mathew dressing in his room with a blindfold covering his eyes no mirror, not that it would be very useful with a blindfold, and in the midst of an indoor hurricane. It was a funny picture. Sam gave up and started laughing as well. Jessica removed her pale face from the pillow and beamed up at her. She could always count on Sam to turn her day around. She was always so happy all the time, and Jessica loved her for that, even if she could be a bit conceited a times. She was the closest thing to family Jazz had ever had.
After a bit, the two girls had calmed down somewhat. Sam deemed the problem of which boy to go out with hopeless, and proceeded to pick out an outfit to wear the next day. She happily talked to herself, making plans for Saturday, while sorting through numerous amounts of clothes. Jessica contentedly watched the flamboyant Sam toss clothes here and there looking for the perfect matching colors. Even giving a bit of advice once or twice, although style, like boys, wasn’t her strong point.
“What do you think?” Sam asked, whipping her blonde wavy hair out of her face as she walked up and down the room pretending to be a fashion model.
“Hmmm… let’s see,” Jessica pondered, sorting through her makeshift scoring cards. “The cargo boots are a nice touch.” She laughed as Sam proceeded to put her shoed foot right next to Jessica on the bed.
“Ya think?” She whispered in an alluring voice that suited her outfit perfectly.
“Oh yeah! And I must compliment you’re color scheme with the black mini-skirt and purple tank top.”
“But of course you must.” Sam walked away towards her closet and then whirled around bending over and placing her hands on her knees, “I picked them out just for you.”
“I would mark you down for playing on my weakness colors,” Jessica grinned evilly, “but I like them too much to commit such a crime. Ten out of Ten! And extremely sexy, I might add.” Sam smiled in an “I knew you were going to say that” type of way, and proceeded back into her closet to try on the next outfit she had picked out.
“You’ll like this next outfit!” Sam yelled from the closet as she stumbled around trying to dress quickly, “It’s very authentic!”
“Oh really? I can hardly wait.” Jessica smiled, anticipating something funny. She was having so much fun she hardly even felt the presence of another person enter the room.
“Ewe!! What’s that doing here? Sam, you know you’re not supposed to let curses into the house! She’ll be the death of us all. You know they’re bad luck.” Sam’s little brother Jake stood in the doorway, his 10-year-old hands on his hips and his blue eyes full of spite. Jessica stiffened. It was dangerous being caught off guard by a comment like that. She clenched her fists, her nails cutting into her palms, as memories flushed her mind. Anger rushed into her body. But she managed to smother the majority of it. Her pupils only turned to slits for a second before it went away. A clueless Jake still stood there in the door, staring at Jessica in disgust.
“Oh, go drown yourself in the bathtub, why don’t ya? No one wants you here.” Sam said, coming out of the closet dressed in a kilt. Jazz took one look at her and buried herself in her pillow once again. It was incredibly funny, although she would die before she allowed anyone other than Sam see her laugh. Jake still hadn’t moved.
“Whatever just make sure it doesn’t touch any of my stuff. I don’t need anymore bad luck. What is it doing anyways?” She still had her face buried in her pillow.
“You don’t need to know. And why are you even still here?” Sam retorted, annoyed. Jake glared at her and she glared back. Jessica lifted her face out of her pillow as she managed a straight face, although her eyes were still laughing at Sam’s kilt. The two siblings seemed to be having a silent battle. Jessica already knew who would win. Sure enough, Jake finally turned away. “Whatever,” He said as he began to leave the room, “Curse your life if you want, see if I care. Oh yeah, and, mom wants you to know that they’re leaving now, and that it’s time for lights out.” He stopped, and turned back towards Jessica, “I’m watching you.” He glared at her. She grinned coldly back, causing him to shiver and run out of the door and down the hallway. She laughed as she heard him stumble into his room and slam the door shut. Sam proceeded to shut her own door and turned to Jessica with a disapproving look. The two girls stared silently back at each other for an extremely long minute.
“Jessica.” Sam finally said in a grave voice. Jessica began to grin. Sam shook her head disapprovingly then sprang onto the bed next to Jazz causing them both to bounce up and down on the springy mattress, “Did you see that look on his face?” She burst out laughing. “That was hilarious! I swear he must’ve peed his pants!! My gosh! You have to tell me how you pull that off!” Jessica laughed along, relaxing once again.
“It’s quite easy, actually. All you have to do is picture him with no nose and buck teeth, and imagine that you’re the cause of all his grief and the joy that would bring you.”
“You’re so bad, Jazz,” although she spoke with an appreciative tone.
“Yeah, I know. I’m the worst. Anyways, what was that about you’re parents leaving?” She tried to seem uninterested, but Sam’s bedtime meant Jessica’s journey back to the orphanage. These late night “study groups” were her only escape from the place. She was already pushing the time limits.
“Yeah, I guess they’re going ‘out’ again. Oh well. It’s not like it matters what they do, or where they are. They’re always gone. And besides! You don’t have to leave when they do! You can stay a bit longer! Will you please stay longer?” She asked pouting her lips, “For me? Please! This is our hang out time. No one can judge us here! So what do you say?’
“Oh, alright.” Jessica gave in. She knew that this would mean more whippings, but she had never told Sam about that consequence. Besides, it was the least she could do for Sam. Sam had given up a lot to be her friend. Sam smiled and hugged her; Jessica winced inside, as Sam’s arms brushed her hidden wounds. Sam didn’t notice. She pulled away, with a bright look on her face.
“You know what?” She said excited. “I think I’ve finally decided.”
“Decided on what?” Jazz looked confused.
“On my new boyfriend, silly. I choose Mathew! I think it’s more important if a guy can make you laugh than anything else. Besides, Johnny is too silent for my liking.” Jessica smiled.
“Well good for you! If it were me, I’d choose the silent one, but I think Mathew is probably better for you.”
“If you thought that, why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Sam seemed offended.
“I wanted you to make your own decision, that’s why.”
“That’s unfair. You know I don’t like making my own decisions. I always mess up.”
“Not always.”
“Usually.”
“… Ok, yeah, you usually do, but you’ll never get better without practice. You need to be more confident.”
“Well you know what I think?”
“No, I don’t, what do you think?”
“I think you should go out with Johnny if you like him so much.” Sam flashed a sneaky little smile at Jessica.
“I never said that! And besides, the whole social outcast, sin against god, lowliest scum on earth problem just might get in our way.”
“Oh, don’t be like that.” Sam scowled, “You make it more worse than it really is.”
“What makes you say that?” Jessica looked up from her hands that she had most recently taken an overly keen interest in.
“Just because you were born with brown hair and purple eyes doesn’t mean you’re really any different than any of us. I mean, on the inside, we’re all the same.” Sam’s scowl deepened, as she thought to herself.
“HA! Yeah right! I was born in a world built on blonde hair and blue eyes. It’s like a black kitten born in a litter of whites. I stick out like a sore thumb, and everyone hates me for it. Oh, and as far as different on the inside, ask me again when you find another person who can lift school buses with only a single, no sweat, when they get upset. Besides, even if that were true, no one would believe it. They’re all convinced I was born to curse the world. The Demon among Angels.” Jessica, concluded, looking back down at her hands.
“I don’t think that. I don’t think that at all!” Sam said, putting her arm around her.
“That’s cuz you’re cool like that.” Jazz smiled, “You’re the only real angel in this wretched world.”
“That’s not true either, and you know it. Angels are perfect, and I’m far from that.” Sam sniffed, in a playful manner. Jessica laughed.
“Ok, ok, have it your way. Hmm… I’m hungry for some popcorn! Got any left from last time?”
DisposableDarkness Community Member 
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