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Shade's Random Journal


Shade7
Community Member
avatar
4 comments
not wut u expected
u waste ur life by doing wut god tells u. u don't give urself the pleasure of happieness, cuz u belive god will give it 2 u. when ur old and on ur death bed, u feel that god is going to come get u. but then all u see is................................................................................ .................................................................................
..................................................................................
..................................................................................





User Comments: [4]
Uki_The_Funner_er
Community Member





Tue Sep 04, 2007 @ 03:13am


well if you could make this one longer it would be nice and i would recomend putting the actual words in instead of "u" put "you" and stuff like that lol but anyway this is pretty good


Dunames_Dark_Witch2007
Community Member





Tue Sep 04, 2007 @ 01:31pm


Oh, thanks for sharing.


Ibiteback15
Community Member





Sun Sep 09, 2007 @ 03:38am


I agree, that makes total sense.


Luna_Naomi_Loveless
Community Member





Sat May 24, 2008 @ 02:19pm


Technically you see your life, then a light, and also shadows... but putting "........" at the end doesn't emphasize the point. make it a bit longer, and do spell out your words please, it takes away from the quality of the work if you try text talk, unless needed to emphasize a point in the poem, it's best to spell it out.


User Comments: [4]
 
 
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