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Flesh into gear myself appears. |
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Dissected and pretentious.
A simple sound, a heavy sigh could start the whole world over.
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Dumped in C&T, so journal is next.
******** car. ******** weekend. ******** transmissions.
..Ahem..
Guess this is storytime, so I'll tell ya'll a goodun.
Thursday after work, I merrily trot out to the IBM parking lot, full of glee. See, I only work 4 days a week. 10 hours a day, but still.. 3 day weekends = kickass. So, I hop in my 1980 Ford granada, and slip that key in like so much sexual innuendo. Crank it baby.. and.. the motor turns over, but doesn't start. ********? Crank again..same thing. "Hmm.. maybe I flooded it." let it chill for 5 minutes, try again. Same thing. Starter kicks in, turns over.. gets to where it *should* start, stutters, shakes, and then dies. So, 4.6 million people ask me if I'm okey. "I'm cool, just got a piecashit for a car." One guy even tried juicing the battery a bit. Same thing. One guy said "sounds like your choke isn't opening". Excellent guess, Kreskin. Wrong.. but excellent. So, I say "******** it" and call my parental units for a lift to my apartment. Home I go, with plans of calling the towtruck and repairshop tommorrow.
Friday rolls around like a drugged hooker, and I drag my weary, skinny a** out of bed at 8:00 in the ******** morning, call AAA, and the repair shop. Ring the mom, and drive down to meet the towtruck after waiting for 90 minutes. Tow goes, car goes, repairshop says hi. Go home and wait. 6 hours later, my phone rings. It's the repair shop. Phone convo goes as follows.
RS:So, here's why it wasn't *starting*.... (hinting at other issues than starting)
Me: okay, what?
RS: Well, your timing is all screwed up. Your timing chain is broken, and it looks like both your timing gears have teeth missing."
Me: well.. ********.
RS: Also, we found a few other things.
Me: Goody ******** gumdrops.
RS: Your water pump is cracked, gonna have to be replaced. Also, your belts have *really* big cracks in them, so they have to be replaced, too.
Me: ********. ********. ********. How much?
RS: Well.. all things included...
Me: Yes?
RS: $790.
Me: *massive string of obsenities*
RS: So, what shoud we do?
Me: roll that ******** back into the lot, and hit it with a hammer until it explodes, spraying parts across three counties. (just kidding, I said I'd have to look at my finances and call him back.)
So, being late friday afternoon, I don't have much time to set up a bake sale to raise money for the great white whale of a car. So.. I'm kinda screwed. I proceeded to get angry and have a beer.
Saturday: Hit car lots with my dad for 5 hours. Looking for cheap transportation is ******** impossible. Car salesmen suck. Like leeches, they suck. They are very frightening and odd people. I will go no further than to say 3 things. One, if i'm buying the goddamn car with my money, don't talk to my father when trying to sell the car. Two, if I say "i'm not interested" do not try and get me to test drive the car. It will see more airtime than a skateboard at the vans world cup, and I still won't buy it. Three, do not suggest I learn how to drive a manual transmission, ON YOUR LOT, IN THE MUD, IN YOUR CARS. The sheer stupidity of that offer made me almost take it.
So, 5 hours pass, and we go to the last dealership in town. There we find the best car, and also, the cheapest. Life is funny like this. It's the only decent car I've seen all goddamn day that I would be willing to drive, and to entrust my life to. It's a manual. I don't drive manual. The last time I did it, I was commiting GTA, and it didn't go well. But, if I don't get it, I'm ******** for work for a week, and will be bumming rides off mommy at 4:30 in the ayem. So, papers are signed, souls are transferred, and 2500$ in easy monthly payments later, I'm the very irritable owner of a 1998 Dodge Neon, blue. Manual. 5-speed.
I learned how to drive it in an hour.
I practiced for an additional hour.
I now have 2 years of $116 a month payments ahead of me. All so I could make it to work on monday. My weekend was ********. I now am going to pay my mechanic $79 for telling me my old car is dead, and then douse the car in gasoline, and have a cookout. It won't help my situation, but I'll feel a hell of a lot better.
Heh, now I'm thinking of ricing the ********. I've owned it for 48 hours and am already looking up performance parts, mods and bodykits. Although, due to my current financial situation, I may just drop a K&N air filter in there for 4-6hp boost, for around 30$ and call it a day.
 Twistex · Mon May 02, 2005 @ 03:33pm · 2 Comments |
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