Well... I thought that it was about time to make a new entry. For those of you that read every entry I post (*laughs* like anyone would read it!) you'd know that I found a guy here that I'm dating. It started out alright, but recently things have gone down. It's probably my fault when I told him what I wanted.... a serious relationship. Turns out that he's scared of that. D: We haven't really talked since Sunday... and we use to talk all the time. So I really don't know how much longer we have left. And he's going back to his university in August.
It just seems like so many things upset me. Like when I hear Carl talking on the phone and he refers to me as his "friend from work" and not his girlfriend. That really upset me. I'm trying to get another job. The one I have now... it just sucks. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my love life... it's just so screwed up. I have a different guy every few months... if even that. I think my longest constant relationship with a guy is three months or a bit over. *sighs* It's just so frustrating.
Honestly... where can I find a nice guy who loves me for me, can respect and treat me right, be able to support me and a family later, and doesn't look half bad? I'm not asking for all that much... just a simple life and family. I'll just enter in my poem before I get too deep into life and the meaning of everything. =P
"You say you want me near
yet I can't comprehend
why you push me away
I thought you wanted this
this closeness
I see your face
why won't you smile?
or hold me like you use to?
We barely talk anymore
I don't want us to fall apart
you actions speak otherwise
Won't you look at me again?
Can't you see that I'm hurt?
All that I want from you
was to be loved
But I guess you can't give me that"
((Meant to be posted on Tokyo Pop, but the blogs are screwy))
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Don't worry, Pookie! I'm sure there's a guy like that for you somewhere. 3nodding