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I hate mood swings and I hate demons. Not the storybook demons. The real kind. The little insidious thoughts that burrow into your head and even though you know they aren't real, you hear them anyway.

For the past three days I've been working 8-9 with 2 two hour breaks. So... 11 hour work day. Not really that bad except it's been with three year olds for most of it and screaming 1-2 yr olds for the rest of it. Which makes the time seem twice as long. On top of this I don't really have time to go eat since I live 15 mins away, (30 in rush hour traffic and yes, that's when I get my breaks). So I've been cranky. And now I'm unwanted. Leia, my sister, called Jyuko, my roomate, to have her come stay the night. All I can think of now is how much she must hate me and not want me to be around. How they must be saying, "Jyuko, I know how much a pain Tara is so come stay the night and get away from her." They never seem to care if I'm in pain or upset or anything. I mean, I walked two hours home from work and neither one noticed until I was walking down the street. When I get home, do they care? No, they yell at me for not calling them. Not even a "Are you allright?"

If it was Leia, Jyuko would be bending over backwards to apologize. She'd buy things and fluff at her and pander to Leia's every whim. I get a sorry, we were going to get you a cake but we decided not to. Am I not important? Am I just an afterthought? I swear. Leia only liked to hang around me because I got her lunch. I stopped. Suddenly she had more important things to do. She only claims me as a friend because she thinks I'm her sister.

Guess what. I'm not. I'm a random stranger who was a stupid little kid once upon a time. I'm nothing but a stupid suriki now who can't do anything. I'm useless, fat, and ugly. A living piece of space doing nothing but polluting this planet farther. I'm a waste of time. And breath. It's not like anyone reads this anyway. Just wait and see how long it takes for a comment to show up. I bet one never does.