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Okay! Hi! This is a fanfic I wrote very recently, like yesterday? For the 4th of July.

Title: Mayonnaise Covered Wieners
Anime: Naruto
Couples: Iruka and Kakashi (only slight hints ) Sasuke and Naruto
Warnings: Yaoi pervertedness
Rating: 15
Summary: It is the Fourth of July and all Naruto wants to do is eat his mayonnaise covered hot dog on a stick and watch some fireworks. Too bad Sasuke seems to want a different kind of mayonnaise covered wiener from the dobe.




It was a known fact, and I mean a known fact, like you know, everyone knew this fact, hell you probably even know it! So why am I going to repeat this fact that you already know? Because you probably don’t know which fact I am even talking about, do you? No, you don’t. I am of course talking about the well known fact that Naruto loves fireworks.

Yes, that was the fact I was talking about.

Naruto loves fireworks.

Why, you ask? Well…actually I’m not really sure either. But if I had to take a guess, it would probably be because he loves the bright lights, the gathering of people, the loud noises, and of course, the hot dogs. Yes, no matter how much Naruto loved ramen he loved hot dogs almost just as much. Every year he could, he would enter a hot dog eating contest and eat so many of the little wieners that he was sick for days.

Yes, Naruto loved wieners.

Preferably with mayonnaise.

So on the evening of Fourth of July he was walking around in his orange T-Shirt that shouted the words, “Fire is what works!” and his loose blue jeans, with a hot wiener on a stick, a thick line of mayonnaise squiggling across the top. He happily ate this as he walked around, fire work stands crisscrossing each other on each side of the road, little kids running past him with brightly lit Sparklers. He smiled as he heard the whine of a firework shooting into the air and took a big bite of his hot dog, a dab of mayonnaise landing on the corner of his mouth where it was left to be ignored.

That was how Sasuke found him.

Now it is a known fact. Yes, another known fact. This one isn’t as well known as the other one to the common girls that knew Sasuke, but hell we all know it. Yes, we all do. It is that well known of a fact. I know you are just screaming at me to tell you the god damn fact already; well screaming will get you no where! I can’t hear you, idiot. Fine, fine I’ll tell you the fact. The fact is that Sasuke hates fireworks.

Yes, Sasuke hates fireworks.

Why? Well I would have to say that because they are so loud, that the light up a perfectly nice, dark sky with horrible, eye burning, neon, color, or maybe he hated them because it seemed no matter where he went, someone was asking him to light their firecracker with his Fireball Jutsu. The idiots.

But what Sasuke did like about fireworks and the day in general is that every time this year, the dobe would eat tons of hot dogs covered in mayonnaise. You have to be wondering why he would like this fact so much. He hates the idiot, right?

WRONG!

Oh come on! You didn’t see that one coming? You really should have. Anyway, Sasuke of course, loves the blond fool. And there is not a sight better than Naruto eating a wiener with mayonnaise on it.

So that was why Sasuke watched from the shadows as the dobe ate his hot dog, dressed in his usual black and blue everything. You know, big blue shirt with the Uchiha sign on it and some nice tight, black jeans. Oh yeah, blue and black look great on him.

He watched with great interest as the blond dobe left a dab of the white substance on the corner of his mouth and wrapped his little mouth around another bite of wiener. Sasuke almost died of blood lose right there.

He couldn’t take it. Every year he would watch the idiot be too innocent for his own good and eat those damn mayonnaise covered wieners, while walking around the streets lighting fireworks and staring at the god damn sky. The dab of mayonnaise that was still on the corner of the idiot’s mouth was just too much. It was the last straw. This year he was going to make sure the dobe got his fill of wieners.

Yes it is here that we learn that Sasuke has a very, very, very dirty mind.

So in full swing of his new plan he strolled out of the shadows, and started to walk behind the blond, fully enjoying the view, I might add. He was so preoccupied with watching the dobe’s bu-cough-back that he didn’t even notice the hot dog eating idiot had stopped and was staring at a very bright, fox shaped firecracker until the Uchiha ran into him, sending them both to the ground, as well as the half eaten wiener to the dirt.

“God damn it, b*****d! You made me drop my hot dog!!” Naruto shouted as he landed to the ground. He looked up to find dark eyes staring down at him. They looked….hungry.

Maybe Sasuke wanted a wiener with mayonnaise too.

Naruto of course did not notice the current position he and Sasuke were or the fact that his shirt had ridden up a bit, hell he didn’t even notice that Sasuke seemed to be staring quite intently on his mouth.

Shall I tell you the position they are in, or just let your mind run wild with perverted thoughts and imagines? I guess I will just have to tell you, since most of your imaginations are down the drain, along with that grey matter, right? Anyway, Sasuke had his upper body laying against Naruto’s, his face hovering only inches above the blond’s. His knees were on each side of the dobe’s waist and his hands were on each side of his chest.

Let’s just say Sasuke was enjoying himself.

Sasuke smirked down at the struggling blond and gently eased himself lower onto the idiot.

“I could always get you another, dobe.” He whispered huskily, very much meaning what the hidden meaning meant.

“Well then get off me so you can. You know how much I love mayonnaise covered hot dogs.” Naruto said, finally noticing just how close Sasuke was to him. He of course didn’t catch the hidden meaning of Sasuke words. Sasuke smirked down at his oh so innocent dobe.

“I think I can get you one for free, but we have to go somewhere more…private.” Sasuke whispered into Naruto’s ear, his hot breath breezing into Naruto’s senses. Naruto blushed and felt blood pooling southwards.

“For f-free, Sasuke? Really? Well then we should get you one too! They are really good.” Naruto nodded and grinned up at the stoic teen.

It is here we learn that no matter how old Naru-chan gets he can say the cutest, innocentest, most erotic things at any random moment. Maybe that is why Sasuke, the pervert, likes him so much. The world may never know.

Sasuke chuckled, smirking darker, almost lewd really. A perverted look came into those damn onyx eyes, which stared into innocent blue eyes that were only offering a nice hot dog, but those dark, perverted, lusty onyx eyes saw so much more in the future besides some little assorted meat by products smashed together into a circular tube. Oh no, those dark eyes saw much, much more.

Sasuke chuckled again and by now Naruto was very scared. Whenever Sasuke ever chuckled, it never ended well for him. Naruto was really rethinking offering the Uchiha a hot dog on a stick with some mayonnaise on it, because now he could practically see his own death in those dark eyes. Besides he had been lying under the raven haired teen for a good ten minutes now and thought for sure he felt something poking him in the thigh.

Why the hell would Sasuke carry kunai in his pockets during the Fourth of July?

Oh, poor, sweet, innocent, little Naru-chan.

“Sounds very good, dobe.” Sasuke whispered and slowly got up from the great position on top of the idiot. He held out his hand and helped the blond up to his feet, not letting go even after the dobe had stood up. Naruto blushed as he looked down at Sasuke holding his hand, then at the b*****d’s smirking face. He was about to say something about it when he heard his name being called. He turned and saw both of his senseis. Iruka waved to him, quickly scooting away from Kakashi.

“Hello, Naruto, Sasuke. Are you enjoying the fireworks?” Iruka asked cheerily, smiling down at his old favorite pupil. Naruto nodded, quickly breaking hand contact with Sasuke.

“Yeah, Iruka-sensei! I saw this really cool red and gold fox firework and it lit up the whole sky!” Naruto exclaimed, grinning.

“Sounds very nice. Oh wait Naruto you have some mayonnaise on your mouth. Here let me get it.” Iruka said, acting very motherly, and pulled out a napkin, quickly wiping away the mayonnaise spot.

Sasuke almost growled, glaring at their old sensei. He was the one who supposed to wipe away that mayonnaise! He glared holes into the teacher’s head. Kakashi observed this from beside Iruka and grinned underneath his mask before discreetly scooting closer to Sasuke as Iruka and Naruto continued to talk about this and that.

“So Sasuke-kun. I see you have finally decided to make a move on Naru-chan there. How’s that working out?” Kakashi asked, grinning as his student turned his famous Uchiha glare at him.

Nothing happened with his students that Kakashi didn’t know about. Yep, that one eye saw all. He is awesome like that. Like he knows that recently Ino and Sakura were watching the fireworks, together, under a tree, in the dark. Oh yes, nothing got past Kakashi.

“Stay out of this Kakashi. Just get Iruka away from Naruto and I won’t have to tell Iruka why exactly Jiraiya has been writing special editions of your damn porn that feature a very kinky brunette teacher just for you.” Sasuke smirked at his piece of black mail, watching with a sense of pride as the grin dropped off of his teacher’s face and he coughed, turning away from the teen.

“Fine, fine, but don’t tire Naruto out too much, you know we do have training tomorrow.” Kakashi added the grin back on his face. Sasuke ‘hned’ at him and Kakashi chuckled before turning back to the other oblivious two, who were now talking about the fireworks and how Naruto wished they had a ramen shaped firework.

“Come on, Dolphin-chan. I know a great spot to watch the fireworks from.” Kakashi sing songed at the now red faced brunette, before grabbed his hand and half dragged him towards a very secluded spot. Iruka waved a bit to Naruto, before turning to yell at the perverted sliver haired sensei.

Naruto watched his old teacher get dragged away and then turned to Sasuke.

“Hey Sasuke wanna go find a place to watch the fireworks at?” Naruto asked excitedly, totally forgetting about the new, free mayonnaise hotdog he had been promised. Sasuke had to stop himself from pouting, instead choosing to mentally curse Iruka and Kakashi for the rest of their lives.

“Sure dobe, whatever. But close your eyes.” Sasuke commanded, covering Naruto’s eyes with the boy’s headband then grabbed Naruto’s hand again and dragged him somewhere he knew would be secluded enough for them, plus somewhere that he knew Naruto would love.

And here, my dear audience, is where we learn that Sasuke is very considerate when he wants to be.

Naruto felt himself being dragged around, then stopping for five minutes or so, then moving at an even faster pace, hell he even had to climb tons of stairs before they stopped again. Naruto could feel a nice breeze on his face, carrying the smell of smoke and fried food. He could hear oohs’ and awws’ coming from somewhere below as a huge boom erupted from the sky. He could only guess that the fireworks had started, but where was he?

Soon after he asked himself that in his head, his headband slipped away from his eyes and he saw Sasuke standing in front of him, the sky behind him exploding into a bright red and white heart that seemed to surround only the Uchiha. Sasuke was holding something out to him and Naruto immediately recognized it has his second favorite food.

A wiener covered in mayonnaise, on a stick.

Naruto gaped in awe. It was just too perfect. He quickly hugged the usually stoic teen tightly and looked up at him.

“Thank you, Sasuke! This is great!” Naruto exclaimed and then, with the heart slowly melting away from the sky as another firework was set up, Naruto leaned up and kissed Sasuke right on the lips.

Sasuke eyes widened in surprise, but quickly got over his shock and kissed back as a blue and orange explosion of color swept over the sky behind them, hot dog lying forgotten on the ground behind Naruto.

Sasuke never did get his mayonnaise covered wiener from Naruto.

But this was close enough.