Well I thought I’d spill out all my thoughts
Right out on the paper
Just to see how they would look in print.
About how I think I’m in love
But it’s fading like the bonfires of last summer.
And how I think life couldn’t get worse
And how it can’t get better.
How I attract the negative attention,
Never the better.
I get all the older ones to stare and holler,
While sometimes I can’t even get my own guy to bother.
How I wish I could just give it back,
Press the restart button on life and play it differently.
I wish I could say I mean it when I tell them I won’t miss them.
How I won’t miss my past and all the people I’ve left behind.
I wish I wouldn’t always try to play it rough,
Make my edges seem so rough,
When really all I do is cry.
I’m constantly paranoid about this and that there boy,
What he’s doing when he doesn’t call.
I’m thinking about my phone bill,
What they’ll say, I have it drilled,
And I’ve got my fake story straight.
He’s a boy I met in Disney;
Not my boyfriend, oh no, no.
I have to lie to make it right,
Then I don’t sleep all these nights,
Wondering what’s causing this insomnia,
When I know perfectly well
That I am going to hell
For all the lies I spit every day.
I kiss my mother with those lips,
And then the next day they just spit
All these lies and this profanity.
I’m not as clean as they may think,
Really I guess I’m a fake.
Playing punk and preppy every other day.
I play three sides in one game,
And I know who to blame;
Just myself for not knowing who I am.
And I can never write enough,
I’ll never get it out
But I guess this is okay for now,
But there’s so much left unsaid,
And I wish those words were dead,
But they live forever in my head
Repeating constantly,
Making my heart bleed,
They’re like daggers digging into my soul.
Because they know just how to hit,
How to paralyze me every bit
And I’m afraid I’m growing just too weak.
‘Cause this worlds got my in a headlock,
And I’m not strong enough to get out,
Despite the show that I put on each day.
I’m just a girl with the hard shell,
That’s keeping up pretty well,
But my insides are so damn soft.
And I know I seem positive sometimes,
But really I’m just a narcissist
With a heavy heart and fact filled mind.
Now I’ve run out of things to say,
Maybe just for today,
But now that it’s said
I don’t feel much better.
Right out on the paper
Just to see how they would look in print.
About how I think I’m in love
But it’s fading like the bonfires of last summer.
And how I think life couldn’t get worse
And how it can’t get better.
How I attract the negative attention,
Never the better.
I get all the older ones to stare and holler,
While sometimes I can’t even get my own guy to bother.
How I wish I could just give it back,
Press the restart button on life and play it differently.
I wish I could say I mean it when I tell them I won’t miss them.
How I won’t miss my past and all the people I’ve left behind.
I wish I wouldn’t always try to play it rough,
Make my edges seem so rough,
When really all I do is cry.
I’m constantly paranoid about this and that there boy,
What he’s doing when he doesn’t call.
I’m thinking about my phone bill,
What they’ll say, I have it drilled,
And I’ve got my fake story straight.
He’s a boy I met in Disney;
Not my boyfriend, oh no, no.
I have to lie to make it right,
Then I don’t sleep all these nights,
Wondering what’s causing this insomnia,
When I know perfectly well
That I am going to hell
For all the lies I spit every day.
I kiss my mother with those lips,
And then the next day they just spit
All these lies and this profanity.
I’m not as clean as they may think,
Really I guess I’m a fake.
Playing punk and preppy every other day.
I play three sides in one game,
And I know who to blame;
Just myself for not knowing who I am.
And I can never write enough,
I’ll never get it out
But I guess this is okay for now,
But there’s so much left unsaid,
And I wish those words were dead,
But they live forever in my head
Repeating constantly,
Making my heart bleed,
They’re like daggers digging into my soul.
Because they know just how to hit,
How to paralyze me every bit
And I’m afraid I’m growing just too weak.
‘Cause this worlds got my in a headlock,
And I’m not strong enough to get out,
Despite the show that I put on each day.
I’m just a girl with the hard shell,
That’s keeping up pretty well,
But my insides are so damn soft.
And I know I seem positive sometimes,
But really I’m just a narcissist
With a heavy heart and fact filled mind.
Now I’ve run out of things to say,
Maybe just for today,
But now that it’s said
I don’t feel much better.
