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Have you ever gotten so angry that you just really want to hit something? You know you shouldn't... and you, of course, know you can't. But... GROWL!!

I know I'm being immature whenever I argue with my mom. Like I can point out all the flaws in my argument before she does. I know what I say and do are child-like at best and utterly pointless for I am the inferior child. I do NOT know what I am saying. I do NOT know that I am being juvenile. At least that's what my mom says.

She points out that I act like a child and I of course say I'm not, when I know I am. OR I do admit it, but my mom doesn't give me credit for at least saying as much.

I talked to Kitty about it and we had a very good bonding time about it, I think. We both talked about mothers and what pains they can be, but we know we love them anyway.

Kind of makes you wonder if we're masochists at heart.

But regardless of that, it really hurts some of the things Mom says. Such as today when Kitty and I have a history project to do together. When I told Mom that we had only done two drawings out of a total of twelve or thirteen, she said, "One out of twelve? I don't know whether to cry or congratulate you."

Later on, I talked to Mom about it and THEN she apologized (which I took half-heartedly but still believed anyway) for sounding like she had meant it when ACTUALLY she was joking.

It didn't sound like a joke to me. Sounded like she was completely serious. Like cruel serious. And it really hurt. I was ready to cry which is saying something because I do NOT cry in public. I just don't do that. Or at least, I don't like to. I don't like to cry in general. Nasty thing for me. Even though my Mom SAYS it's natural, which I understand that it is.

But it just goes to show you that miscommunication can be a b***h and so can the ramifications. But still. I swear... I definitely do NOT have a good relationship with her. I SWEAR it's like a married couple relationship where I'm the woman and she's the man.

I'd LIKE her to acknowledge that I'm speaking to her and that I even exist, but she hardly does if at all. I just think she's feeling the whole point of what it is to be a teen girl's mom. And sometimes I know that she feels like she's bitten off more than she can chew.

And when she brings my dad into it... It just makes me even more mad. Sometimes I think she says that he's "brainwashed" me against her just because she wants an excuse that there's no possible way I can hate her or dislike her on my own free will. I think she might be scared of that possibility and so she just uses my dad as an excuse. But then again, I'm not her and I'm not going to confront her about it since I know she'll rip me a new one, but oh well. It's a theory anyway.

But then again, we all KNOW I love my mom. Truly. And we all know that she's in the right most of the time (although Kitty gave me a good talking to when it came to purchasing a bag and what to do if the guilt-trip from Mom came ... x.x).

So yeah.