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I went to the band bbq today. I always feel so out of place when I go to things like that- but I don't go for me. I go to see my friends play and see other friends. Though...I can't stay in one place for long. So mostly I wandered about and watched people. It's something I do a lot anyways, so it doesn't matter much. My friend Katie played football against her little brother and some of his friends. She tried to teach me how to play too- but, let's face it, I'm not good at sports at all. All I can say is- at least I didn't throw the ball backwards like I did the time Bryson tried to teach me. His football ended up torn up by a some grouchy old man's dogs... sweatdrop Anyways, I gave up on playing football with Katie and just decided to watch. Not very long afterwards she got tackled- and I had to stop myself from watching all together. I wanted to run in and stop her being tackled- but, usually, I do something worse trying to help. Besides, Katie can do anything by herself. After all- she's the first one to make me question why I'm here. What exactly I can do- which is a good thing, since mostly I've put out as little effort as possible at everything I do and got by perfectly fine. In other words- she was the first to make me wonder what would happen if I put my whole heart into something.

I went on- and wandering about, I ran into Onii-chan. We went on a search for his younger brother....and found some kid jumping about on the pole vault mat with his friends.
"Jacob, what're you doing?" asked Onii-chan flatly.
"Makin'a movie" the kid replied. And went back to jumping.
"Without a camera?" I asked onii-chan.
And then- all of onii-chan's friends came. Who are all girls...and I figured it was time to go elsewhere.