• Do you remember back then,
    in those days when
    we said forever?
    That we'd be together
    one day.
    But you were so far away,
    another country, another world,
    and I was a girl
    caught up in my own web.
    Lost in my own head.

    And something in me
    needed something in you
    to be the something I'd need
    that could pull me through.

    When I first met you,
    I knew I'd never forget you,
    mirror image of myself.
    Just a toy upon a shelf.

    I knew who you were
    by the look in your eyes,
    and I saw your worth
    by the things you would hide.

    I loved you then,
    even then,
    long before any of this ever began.
    Long before promises and secrets and lies,
    Long before taking away our disguise.
    Long before breaking thoe promises still.
    Long before sitting and waiting until...

    One day, you said,
    you'd be here,
    and something in me said
    you'd find a way to be near.

    But as time wore on,
    you were still gone,
    and I was alone,
    in my own way.
    Wasting my own days
    but wasting away
    all the same.
    But that's our game.
    You and I.
    That's why
    I knew you'd be back.
    You'd cut your future off track
    and throw away everything
    for something
    that would one day mean nothing.

    When you said that day
    that the plans were in place,
    that you'd be on your way,
    you should have seen my face.
    It would have hurt you to know
    that I was with him.
    But instead of choosing to go,
    I kept living in sin.

    And then I saw you
    for the first time in years,
    and all of my fears
    just took over.
    That monent's gone forever.
    I had dreams of it before,
    when I had wanted more,
    of running to you,
    and jumping on you,
    and kissing you for the first time
    right there at the baggage line.
    And people would stare,
    but we wouldn't care,
    because you were there,
    and that was all that I needed.

    I should have heeded
    my own advice
    and thought twice
    about what I'd asked of you.

    Everything was so new,
    and that time felt impossibly long,
    but now that it's gone
    it seemed but a glimpse
    of what's happened since.

    What did happen?
    I know that you left again,
    that I'm alone again,
    that everything hurts again,
    and that nothing will be the same again.
    What did happen?
    I'm losing track again,
    losing my memory again,
    supressing things again,
    forgetting you again.

    And now I don't know
    to what lengths I should go
    to fix what is broken.
    Some words have gone unspoken,
    but it will never be
    the right time for me
    to tell you what I have to say.
    You'd take it all wrong anyway.

    There was a purpose to this,
    when I started, that is.
    But I do'nt remember.

    This past December
    really took a toll on my heart.
    We're so far apart,
    yet there I was,
    back where we'd started.
    That's where we met,
    that's where we parted,
    'and you went your way,
    and I went mine.
    You left the country.
    I left that town behind.
    But for that one week
    we were back there again.
    The same time, the same place,
    but a different friend.

    Was there a chance for me there,
    something for me to mend
    before I came back
    to where this poem ends?