Today was... not that bad, but not that great either. It was the first day of school. The first day kind of sucks, usually. My first class was... boring. My second class was alright, but i don't know if i want to exactly pair up with stewart for it... oh well. Lunch was great ^_^ as it always is lol Ben is awesome. Thrid class.... agonizing, but ended up alright, i am now officially the only one left from a group of 4. Last class was Japanese... it was also alright. Nothing too great happened. After that we went to the movies, which the movie was alright, but was a little boring and was majorly missing a central element. I don't know what that element was though. It's starting to get annoying with one of my friends though. I won't name them, that would be incredibly rude, but i'm almost on my last straw with them. I still don't know if i passed math or not. probably not, and i will have to give up either films or Psychology for it. I came home happy too and i find that i have fallen back into depression, although i've been fighting it really hard, and it was because mom brought up the "S" word. School. She wants me to "like" it but how can I?!? how can I lie, tell myself something and force myself to believe it when i know it is not true. I know she worries, but telling me to convince myself that something is what it is not is... well it's just... not what you would like to teach your kids. Tell them to believe that their spouse is good when they are being beaten by them. Tell them their jobs are enjoyable, even if it's killing them. Tell them that whatever they will tell themselves even if it were a hollow lie it is still the ultimate truth. I will not stand for that. That is not what you should teach your kids. Not like mom is telling me all those things but she's trying to tell me to convince myself that i love school, that it is one of the best places on earth even though i hate it and wish that it would all be over. All just hollow lies. She tells me to like it and she tells me i won't get through it if i don't tell myself that. This bugs me even more. I don't like it, but I'm still going because i made a promise to myself that i would never drop out. I am still going and that is the point. I am still, as an individual being, suffering and enduring. You may think this is not suffering but to me, school has been one of the worst experiences i have ever had in my entire life and i am sick to death of it. She most likely thinks i was molested or something, but i wasn't, even though this one man really scared me and seemed like a real petifile. He never did anything but he was still scary. I don't know... today was just... another day. Another long, slightly enjoyable and slightly not, day. So I want all of you to go on with your lives and enjoy them ^_^ i remember when i enjoyed my life. But as it happens to most teenagers, my life has started to suck. Oh well. That's life I guess. But my life compared to others hardly sucks at all so all this typing, whining and complaining was for nothing. I want you all to promise me something. Don't ever take life for granted. Be happy you have it the way you do, because it can always ALWAYS be much worse.
Itchy Gonzalles Community Member |
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