hello everyone! it's me agaaaaain! haha! so how is everyone? *waits for answer* .......... jeeze i dislike when ppl don't answer me! it's like " we don't lak yoooo!!!" and then i'm all like "*sniff* emo i like me..." even though i don't but that is only humanly natural ^_^ heehee! i don't know why but i'm uber happiful right now! even though my week has been pretty cruddy and i have like 30 hrs worth of homework (sorry to joyce who has heard this like ten million billion zuptillion times ) oh and i "broke up" with a friend of mine, i'm just happy. ^_^ it's better to be happy than feel bad for yourself and be completely self centred when there are so many other people suffering out there. I too have been suffering abit with the thought of not being able to graduate and "getting rid" of my friend and the pile up of homework but i think... i think it will all be worth it in the end ^_^ i have a whole life ahead of me and should treat each day as something where there is always chance of a great opportunity to come by! heart Each day is a day to live and we should at least try to enjoy life right? instead of letting the darkness seep into our hearts and souls, draining our energy until we feel our chests are too heavy to even breathe and it feels like there is a heavy smoke or mist in our lungs that tightens our breath slowly choking us with its tiny hands of destruction buuuuuut it's okay! as long as we look at the good things! like today! It may not have seemed like it but my friends really lifted my spirits up imensely!! i thankyou guys! you are so uber awesome it's not even funny! well it is. but you know! haha i seem to have reverted to my old self smile slowly i am still going back in time. now i can't take a compliment without blushing >_< and i'm embarrassed to do strange things again whee it's as if my dignity that was a small little blob crawling on the floor searching for warmth and suffering from starvation has found its way back to me! eeep >_< i luv you my little blobby piece of mushy dignity! heart domokun ! unfortunately with that small shred of dignity that crawled back so did my guilt problem -___-' when i was younger i used to feel that every little problem in my family or friend life was always my fault. That was a sad time. i never counted it as depression though ^_^ i guess by psychiatric standards they would say that i was. but instead of letting myself know that i was i just let it all go and hid it away in a small box that i locked up and put away at the back of my mind. i hoped it would stay there, but now it's back and is slightly uncomfortable, but if i just keep on thinking happy thoughts then everything will be okay ^_^
To My Former Friend. You know who you are.
i find that teenagers let themself go into depression much too easily! >=O! It took me up until 12th grade to become actually depressed! i'm happy i lasted that long! And i think it's time for it to end and i just have to let go of it biggrin it's time to move on and perhaps even from certain friends. it's hard to explain things to that friend because i don't know how to word things well and i really didn't mean to hurt them but they always tell me to trust them to make good choices. So i do trust them. But it's become too many times that they have asked that of me and have turned it around and have done something to lose that trust. I just wish that i could tell them that and that i truly am very very sorry. But perhaps it is time for them to move on too. to other friends that can trust them. To friends that have time for them and can keep up with them instead of getting mad like i do and i always seem to do the wrong thing in their eyes. and for that i am truly truly sorry. I do not mean to do things that make me seem like I am doing wrong but i can't support what are truly the wrong things to do. Even if there is something to fix that problem, you can't just do them because you know they have a treatment. You can't balance choices because that is the wrong thing to do. It seems to be a little unclear what i am trying to say ummm... this is you: Someone offers you to do something that is not exactly a good thing to do. You try to think of which way to take. If you do this you can always fix it by doing something to treat it (this is not a good way to think) The better way to think is: "how will this affect me? is it good for me and others around me? would it be right to do. That is what i wanted to explain to my friend. I hope they can read this and realise my words only meant good intention even though they seemed harsh. this friend thought i was reprimanding them. but it was my way of saying "If you keep this up, this is what will happen to you. you may lose all your friends." and i am sorry. but i can not be friends with people who do those things. It is not my choice of friends. It is the way i was raised and it is how i have always been. I do not view these people as low or stupid. I view them as equals but they are just misguided. I really like to help these people because they are human beings and most of them that i know are WONDERFUL people and they deserve to be treated better by the world, but i like to help them and reach a hand out to them, i hope they will take that hand. Unfortunately i do not become friends with these people but i truly do try my very best to help them. And i would love to help that friend of mine who i told i could no longer be friends with them. I really hope that friend could read this. If they have any questions i hope they can contact me and i will try my best to supply them with good answers. And i hope they can find it in their hearts to understand and forgive me.
Itchy Gonzalles Community Member 
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