Suddenly my mother's decided that I "lack compassion" so she's going to do one the most idiotic things I can think of and make me volunteer with helping suicidal people. stare This will end well I'm sure but apparently it will "help my build character and bring back the compassion for people I once had before I lost it." Now I'm sorry but that's just rediculous and she starts to go on this never ending rant about God or some s**t. I dunno, I don't remember but it never occurs to them the reason I'm such an a*****e.
Why do I encourage people to suicide? Because I don't give a damn about them, any of them and if they want to jump off a bridge I'm not about to stop them so they can only continue to mope around crying about not getting that pony they wanted for their 6th birthday.
People also refuse to realize that it's ok to be depressed. Who in their ******** mind wants to be happy all the time?!? I can't do that, I never have been able to and I can't stand when people try to convince me that there's something wrong because I'm not willing to dance in rays of sunshine when there's a perfectly good cloudy day. Just can't take their good morals that I HAVE to know else I'll be anything but a good person. I DON'T WANT TO BE A PERSON! THEY'RE THE ******** EVILS OF THE WORLD GOD DAMNIT!!
I don't want to wake up every day to know that the only thing I have to look foward to is sitting there staring at a screen for 8 hours trying to make the best of it. I don't want to wake up to see that once again no one knows what the hell's wrong with heart, or brain, or chest. I don't want to wake up at all sometimes but that's just on the off chance that I can get some sleep! It's always someone else, something they want me to do for them because they're too sick or upset or pregnant, IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THEM!
They ruin everything! That's all they ever do, it's all they've ever been meant for and yet I'm a b***h for realizing all this before they do!?! Just because I don't want to get in the mind of some attention deprived dumbass who only slits their wrists because it's a trend or they're just "too upset" MAKES ME A HORRIBLE PERSON BUT THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO BE AND THEY JUST NEED TO ******** GET OVER IT!
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