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~How this feels~
A smile fades away,
as i thought of what i had done,
you were all i wanted,
but still it wasn't enough for me,
i was still unhappy,
still empty,
still starving for more,
wanting something more,
much more,
but now i have nothing,
as soon as i let go of your hand,
my world split in two,
and shatered into athousand pieces of a dream,
i can't pick myself up,
piece me together again,
no,
because what hurts the most,
is knowing,
knowing that iv'e got no one to blame this time,
no one to blame,
but myself
so i'll lay here,
and watch the world pass by,
with colorfull blurs,
and magnificent sounds,
it matters nearly nothing now,
i'm so numb on the inside,
so hurt and torn,
so unfeeling and sick,
of fairytales,
and romance novels,
happy endings,
with prince charmings,
who whisk you away to neverland,
so sick,
of fake smiles and masks,
and pretty girls on the ouside,
with black heats on the inside,
and hansome boys with sweet smiles,
but with cruel words in their mouths,
i hate this society,
so shallow and stark,
fast pace and upbeat,
i'll never keap up,
i'll fall behind,
and you'll forget,
yes i'm sure you'll forget,
that i was ever here,
i wish i could close my eyes,
for the rest of my life,
so no one could see alll the hurt that i hold inside,
all the pain,
and the fear,
and the silence,
and the doubt,
all the tears,
and fake smiles,
and the worries,
and the hate,
no, no one at all would be able to see,
inside of me,
it would be better that way,
i love who i am,
but the world does not,
i won't change for you,
or any one at all,
not for society,
or reality,
or the rest of this earth,
i can't hold on much longer,
i'm being ripped in half,
at the seams of my heart,
each beat thundering in my ears,
and lancing pain through my paperdoll body,
i wish i wasn't as alone as i felt,
i wish the world could take a brake,
i wish society wasn't so cruel,
i wish girls weren't so fake,
i wish boys weren't so shallow,
i wish people could feel something more than their own,
and i wish,
i wish,
that i could just brake away.
 nightmareswings · Thu Oct 19, 2006 @ 03:54am · 1 Comments |
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