I have developed another love hate relationship today; with hormones.
WARNING: I am rambling and this is kinda confusing but I'm quite proud of it. xD
The aray and complexity of every emotion possible is truley awe-inspiring. I mean terror turns to contentment which moulds into a pointless and flat form of melancholy. There's head spinning nausciating excitment twisting into stomach cramping stress and fear.
It's bizzare but in a deeply poetic sense beautiful. Nothing seems to matter to me anymore that meant so much strife only a day before. Money trickling away under my bedsheets hiding from my sudden outwards flying rage. Love seems little more than a childish board game until a unexpected kiss melts my body into a puddle of mush and bleeding organs.
I find myself watching my physiucal body from a distance my mind a rapid rainbow of inspiration and my body a sluggish obstice. I want to fly. I want the excess of emotion to lift me into the air and carry me to someone unknown destination - even the local roundabouts sound inviting! I find my mouth has a mind of it's own and my tongue has sharpened like the edge of a blade. I tell myself excuses to stop me doing what needs to be done, simple tasks let 'until tomorrow'. yet I still can't shake off this excessive energy so I force it into dreaming and the flying sensation returns with an anvengance.
And like the spin cycle on a broken washing machiene that jolts and judders the cyle repeats in it's carefree wind like manner. Leaving me in a awe of feeling.
I also have a deep intense hatred for hormones. I mean what female doesn't? You just can't have the mood that you want to be in to stay long enough before the tiniest thing makes you fly into a whirlwind of shouts and tears. It's kinda hurtful and the excrutiating cramps is only the start. I'm rambling and I can't really think straight, my minds moving so quickly I can't even registar what's happening anymore. I'm fiding it hard distingushing reality and fantasy again and have no idea what the time is anymore. Your pulse seems faster and I know tomorrow I'll be dragging myself out of tangled bed sheets and stumbling into the bathroom only to stare at what a lack of sleep does to my physical appearence through blurred tired morning vision. But that's tomorrow, another day.
 HoverCrab · Sun Aug 20, 2006 @ 09:56pm · 0 Comments |
