ok so, the nightmare have sucked, the memory have sucked, the pain has sucked but im thinking, why suffer threw losing someone when i can look forward to the one who med my mind, body, soul and heart? as thou not to be think of moving on but rather who i will find that will be the right one? not whats been lost but instead what may now be found?
what if i were to of found the right one while i was with the wrong one? it would have been painful, and then i could have lost the right one while fighting for what wasnt right. people always try to make it seem like you need to move on, look for the next things but what if it is more, well its hard to explain. what happened happened, its now there and ur here. if u were there and found what was supposed to be ur now to soon then you wouldnt have ur now and future, you would be just with the next now in a row of thens and once were.
so im going to decide to love my eventual now and future instead of dwelling on my once was. since i dont know who that is yet and i do not want to be fooled into thinking a once was or a nows that will be a once was will be a now future, ill have to be careful and just keep moving forward.
this is confusing, ill set it in numbers.
1: someone in the past.
2: someone that is a now but will be in the past.
3: only 1 will be this, she is a now that will be the future.
a 2 can be mistaken for a 3 and can only be know to be a 2 once they have already become a 1.
i want to love the 3 i find, so to love the 1s and 2s that are gone are only going to hinder my ability to love my 3 when i finally find her.
so, whoever you are, when i find you i would like to thank you for being my 3, for being who you are and loving me as flawed and broken as i am. and thank you for fixing the me i once was. you will never understand how far knowing you exist has gotten me and changed me even before knowing you. you fixed me simply by existing. what ever flaws u have, what every things that bother you, you are who you are and i wouldnt be here to know you if you wernt here to be known. and lastly, don't ever say you are not my 3, it would crush the future me harder than any and all of the 2s and 1s.
if i show you this my 3, then i ask only that you look after the future me. he is so broken, he has been threw so much even if he cant tell you about it without sounding nuts. just be there for him even if hes a little crazy, random, or bazaar. he loves you, he cant tell you properly but he dose. you mean more to him than even he understands, he will be lucky to even remember the now me. just know, you make him better, so much better. only you will know you are a 3, because you would accept him even when he fumbles his words and sounds mean when he wont mean to. like for instance saying 3, instead of u being his number 1. its just a number system. if anything till you met him you were a 4.
1 is low, 2 is a mistake, 3 is truth, 4 is what will be a real 3 that wont become a 1.
welp thats it today, have a good day cool
WaterAttire Community Member 
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