My relationship with the majority of my family is far more than 'estranged' - non existant is closer.
Particularly with my grandmother Mavis Gissing.
For the first 10 years of my life I had never even seen the woman as she lived three states away from me, and she never once attempted to contact me, nor form any sort of relationship.
When I was 12 years old (or would be in a matter of days) my parents decided they would send my sister and I to Queensland for a holiday, while they would enjoy some time in Tasmania - This was very exciting for me, as it would be a time for many 'firsts'
-My first time on a plane
-My first time outside of Victoria/Canberra
and
-My First time i would see (and stay with) my grandmother.
It was a nightmare
My grandmother - like many oldies - was addicted to bingo and the pokeys. She stole my sisters and my food allowance, not to mention our spending money, and blew it all at the local Tatts.
The problems with her hip caused us to only lose our 3 park super pass as we were only able to spend half the day at each theme park.
And to top it all off, she used my sister and I as 'the help' - basically we were her slaves for 2 weeks.
We even had to clean her Cain Toad, Algea infested swimming pool with scrub brushes.
Over the years I tried to reach out to this woman and recieved nothing but ice and an emotional slap in the face.
Now my father has recently receieved word that she has come to our city, frail and was in need of an opporation.He asked me to go with him, just once to see her while she was in hospital. I loath this woman for what she has done to me, but I agreed to go for his sake, on the condition that he would not ask me to do anything in regards to that woman again afterwards.
He agreed, but so far has not kept his word, or is deliberately being a hypocrite.
He came to me this morning, after recieving a call from his sister - Mavis is dying it seems the opporation was a success, but her health has relapsed and she is now critical. He came to me begging to be a shoulder to cry on.
And though I feel for him as this is his mother - I do not know or care for this woman, and i did not want to lead him into a false sense that I did.
Now we have had a huge fight, and i decided I will stay over at my friends house for the night - to give him some space which is what he told me he wants and so that i can have someone to talk to - god knows i need it, i was crying all the way to work - i think at least 20 ppl stopped to look at me on the tram.
My mother Lesley often works in the same building as myself - for the local council, and while this can be convenient at knock off time so i dont have to pay for a ticket home as well, today it was most unpleasant - my father rang ahead and my mother grabbed me on the way in to pull me aside and give me a lecture as i told her a ride home would be unesseccary tonight.
"If this is how you handle something like this - through avoidance, then you need to grow up"
What else am I to do?
My father loathes me at the moment so i thought some time to cool off and grieve would be best - especially if i am not around to confuse his emotions and enrage him at my lack of sympathy for Mavis.
Am I wrong?
Do I really Care?
I am Apathetic about my families anger towards me, but Passionate about my stance on this.
In my mind she was dead long ago... only now the dead has re awakened, and now my world is falling apart... please someone
Help me. cry
Raven Skaari Community Member 
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Community Member