Once apon a time in a land far, far away, there were a bunch of cute little RPers enjoying their time in a literate, happy fashion. That is, until, the peace was disturbed by a semi-literate [at best] lazy a** of an RPer who could not stay in character and would not heed our warnings. After the third or so time that this happened, things started to get ugly.
Narutard: Naruto smirked and caught the arm and bit into it so hard that blood sprayed out. He jumped up, grabbed three shruiken and did a move that he and sauske did once. He grabbed a really large, windmill style shuriken and said, "This is for you! Demon wind shuriken!", naruto yelled throwing it at the long tail. It cut the tail in half.
Meg:...What the hell did he just say?
Sha-chan: -makes onigiri-
Sarah: Nah-uh. He did NOT just cut Envy's tail in half. -snaps fingers-
Meg: Looks like we need to warn him AGAIN. Arrgh.
Sarah: No way. -Picks up a Ghostbusters gun- I'm teaching this b***h a lesson. NOBODY powerplays, godmods, and completely ignores my warnings -reloads- I'm going in.
Lily: Be careful, man.
Meg: Yeah...
Sarah: -turns around and grabs both Lily and Meg, pulling them into a huddle and glaring at them both at the same time- Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?!
Meg: ._.
Sarah: -Turns away dramatically and stalks out the door. For some reason she is no longer holding the gun-
Sha-chan: ...
Meg: ...
Shini: ...
Lily: ...That woman's totally ******** up.
Meg: True that man.
Sarah: -Insert long rant about powerplaying here-
Narutard: I...I'm feeling something...My Narutard senses are tingling...I...I...-flashes of his bad posts come in and out of focus in his mind-...-dramatic pause- BATHROOM!
Sha-chan: Is it really too psychologically stressful for him to understand us?
Narutard: Bless you.
Sha-chan: -_-
Sarah: -laughs evilly- And now we wait...Could my ranting have had an effect? Could I have revolutionized the way this n00b thinks? Could my efforts have paid off? If...If not...-pulls out a series of weapons- the opponent will have to be tortured into an alphabetized/literate insanity. I don't consider it a frowned-upon alternative, though...
Lily: I don't feel safe here anymore.
Sha-chan: -Silent!-
Shini: -Also silent!-
Narutard: Naruto did some hand seals and focused his chakra so much that the wind itself turned sharp and started cutting people.
Sarah: O_O OH NO HE DIDN'T -snaps fingers-
Meg: Am I the only one that's alarmed that Sarah talks like a black woman?
Sha-chan: Yes.
Sarah: Either way, he isn't listening. We'll have to try something better.
Lily: TO THE GHETTOMOBILE!
-Moments later, everyone has piled into the Ghettomobile. Meg is driving and Lily gets to be in the passenger seat, and everyone else is stuffed in the backseat(s). Narutard is in the trunk. That's...Uhm...Ketchup on his throat. Those ropes are fake. Of course he can breathe in there-
Shini: Uhm, why aren't we going anywhere?
Meg: -turns key in the ignition- This piece of s**t won't start.
Lily: Well, it is the Ghettomobile...
Sarah: Didn't this thing have a turbo boost in the last rant you made?
Sha-chan: But this isn't a rant...
Meg: Hold on, I'm trying to get it to start. Just sit there and deal with it.
Lily: I made that rant for Tama-rin in like 1986, Sa-chan.
Sarah: It was less than a year ago.
Lily: AT LEAST MY MOTHER ISN'T ON THE COVER OF CRACKWHORE MAGAZINE!
Sarah: I TOLD you, SHE WAS YOUNG AND SHE NEEDED THE MONEY!
Shini: She was on the cover of the last issue, and that was a month ago.
Sarah:...
Shini: Beleive me, I'm subscribed. >D I would tear that s**t UP!
Lily: Ooookay then. That's almost as creepy as wanting Celine Dion to lather you with Vaseline.
Tama-rin: I say that ONCE, and suddenly the WHOLE WORLD needs to be alarmed...
Sha-chan: Yay! Meg got the car to work ^-^
Meg: -Deep voice- Let's go -vwoosh-
-CRASH-
Meg: Damnit we hit Tama-rin again.
Lily: ********, there's all these n00bs dragging from the back of the car. Oh well, only thirty more thousand miles.
Shini: Wasn't Tama-rin just inside the car a minute ago?
Meg: -pushes Shini into a bottomless pit-
~Thirty more thousand miles later~
Shini: Us needing to get in a car and drive completly defies all the laws of everything. This is the internet.
Sha-chan: Stop saying words.
Sarah: -gets out of the car- All right, this b***h is going down.
Lily: WAIT! Sa-chan! There's something I need to ask you!
Sarah: -Whips around dramatically with her hair blowing in the wind- What is it?
Lily: -Very heartfelt, emotional tone and expression- This is very hard for me to ask you, but seeing as you might get hurt I need to bring up the courage to say it.
Sarah: Just spit it out, Lily...
Lily: If you rape a hooker, is that shoplifting?
Meg: Charming. I think I'm going to just vomit of charm overdose here.
Sha-chan: ^-^ Good luck'su, Sa-chan! Go get'im!
Lily: I'll give you an intro, Sa-chan -Takes deep breath-
...
NOW EVERYBODY IN THE 3-1-3, PUT YOUR ******** HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME! EVERYBODY IN THE 3-1-3, PUT YOUR ******** HANDS UP!
Meg: I could just cry.
Shini: What is she saying?
Lily: Slim Shady. 8 Mile. Third verse of the second rap battle, intro to the 1:30 minute long freestyle against Papa Doc. To get there he had to defeat both Lotto and Lickety-Split.
Meg: The fact that you know this makes me want to go buy some more Vicadin now.
Sarah: -Insert uber rant of doom here-
And using out combined powers of Earth, Water, Fire, Air, car parts, old reruns of Friends, blue hair, Homestar Runner, and Orlando Bloom, we banished the Narutard from our midst! REJOICE!
Narutard: Literates, wait until we meet up again. ********, I'll kick your asses for everything you've ever said.
Sarah: Alright, let's get this piece of crap car moving. We'll celebrate at my place with debreifing and cocktails.
Sha-chan: Grood. I mean great. Great and good.
Meg: Time for the turbo boost! -turns key and the car doesn't even try to start-
Shini: Well this blows.
Lily: Again. Ghetto.
-CLANG-
Sarah: What the hell was that?
Lily: A piece of the car just fell off.
Meg: Sextastic. We'll have to go without a bottom left wheel then. -vwoosh-
Shini: How can you drive with only one back wheel?
Lily: This is the Ghettomobile, passed down from 50 Cent. It's been shot nine times, it'll do fine without a ******** wheel.
Sha-chan: What's the 313 supposed to mean?
Lily: Detroit, Michigan. A little Freestyle line for Narutard here.
This goes to say, ******** knux. You can get all the body parts you need from his mom for under a buck.
Shini: ....That was a crappy rhyme.
Lily: You want me to kick you out of the Ghettomobile?!
Meg: No can do, all of the doors are stuck locked. Next time we're taking the Bryan Adams Jeep.
Sarah: -Breaks one of the windows- Amen.
Lily: Also Amen.
Meg: Well, since it's closest, we can go to my place. We can read girlie mags and see how we can look SO GOOD!
Lily: :]
Sarah: ....
Sha-chan: Why's Shini being so quiet?
Shini: -In a bottomless pit- Could someone throw me some Lunchables? Or maybe a juice box?
-THE END-
View User's Journal
[********]
|
 |
|||||||||||||||||
Back off, you little shits
Gnawing at my fists
I see they breed you by the boatload
Gnawing at my fists
I see they breed you by the boatload
User Comments: [6] [add]
|
Megziez Community Member 
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
Tama-rin
Community Member 
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
Failcakes Community Member 
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
Nakoko
Community Member 
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
C3LL4R D00R Community Member 
|
|||||||||||||||||
User Comments: [6] [add]
Community Member
Edit: I do recognize all the Teen Girl Squad references, but not the other ones. I'm so weird. I've watched every single issue thing over like 5 times. O_o