To the few of you who bother reading my journal... I have a few questions, but not now... Later I suppose, if there is time.
My eyes have just opened to the fact that there might not be a next year for me either, next year I might not be coming back to my home at JCOS; next year it might become military school for girls. Oddly enough this thought excites me almost to the point that I want to go, but what's the point if it means starting over?
The biggist problem is the girls and seeing as I'm Bi this most likely doesn't make sense, so let me explain it for you. I have learned that girls, no matter how beautiful, or how delicateand quiet they seem, are horrible to be stuck with day in and day out. For me however it wouldn't be just days, It would be five long years. This is hard to think about because anybody who knows me knows that I couldn't survive without my friends. And truthfully I hate to say it... I would only have to see my family once a month, this means no father, no mother, and no max; it would be good for me though. maybe it would make me realize how much everything of mine means to me, maybe not for I know I am ungreatful.
My father and mother explained this to me and my eyes lit up I could feel them, but they couldn't understand it. Military school has been a threat since I was six, the threats of uniforms, being locked inside at night, having little to no time to play games, and only one book a year. This thought has been with me for a very long time indeed, always on the back of my mind, exciting me, and scaring me at the same time. Maybe that is what I need to learn about the freedoms I abuse every day, the freedoms that not even kids in public schools have.
But for now I'm lost.
I really need your help I guess, but it feels like I'm only trying to delay the inevitable nightmare that awaits me at the end of the rainbow.
 Teardrops_of_Ivy · Thu Apr 20, 2006 @ 04:44pm · 5 Comments |
