Today was ok I guess. Since today I didn't really feel anything. For right now I am a little mad. Since I told my mom something & she did not get it. So it made me mad. Since every time I try to teil them something thay don't get it. So after a thoueden times I said the same thing. They still don't understand how things are hard for me. It is not hard like the poeple that can't walk or hair, see, or talk.
Its not like that. Because I was hard ever day for half way throw age 1. I should of be died before I was even half way throw age 2. Being hart by ever one & not feeling love from any one at that youngest. Most of all that harts the most is being hart by your own family.
But since I have to storng of wheel power, iner streagth, & body able to handal any thing. Even a braken arm or leg with out crying at a really young age like 4.
My heart just won't die no madder how mouch pain I go throw ever day. Being there all alone feeling like I'm the last creature on this earth. I am the only live thing moveing on this planet. Plants & dart, water is leaved there with me.
But not just that I as well feel like I am already am die. Already been die for 18 years. But for some how I'm still able to move, eat, talk, & think when I want to think. But even thou at the same time as that I was a eamty shell or a over sized doll that would only do want its master wants it to do.
Like the women that get a job that makes them have sex with a guy. The women don't care who they have sex with. Because they don't
know want to do with there lives & they lose there minds & become over sized dolles. So they would do any thing the guy teils them to do. They wont even say any thing or desorbey the guy. No madder how ugly, fat, or mean they are to them.
But for some how I feel like those girls. But yet some how I'm still in contral of my body even thou my soul has been die for 18 years. More then half of the time I don't even think. burning_eyes sad xp
So for last its like I'm trapped here on earth & I'm not a loud to leave it no made how much pain, stress, & hartness I go throw ever day. stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed burning_eyes burning_eyes scream gonk scream stressed
Well I guess thats all I have to say for today.
But it is ture, my soul is died. Has been for 18 years, Since I am alone & no madder how may poeple I see I feel like I'm my own kind. Like I don't belong here on this planet. Like my home is miles, miles, miles away where no rocket could ever make it to before the people got to old & died.
There in the background is my planet home!!! Where I belong with my own kind!!!!!
